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It has come to UnReal News’ notice that Rahul Gandhi has invited the royal couple, Kate and william, to honeymoon in Amethi. A gtalk conversation between the royal couple and our own yuvraaj has landed in the hands of UnReal News. We present snippets of that conversation here.
Rahul_yuvraaj1970: Hey Billy boy, whaddup my brotha from a different motha !
William: Er..hey Rahul, how are you?
Rahul_yuvraaj1970: Rocking ! Hey needed 2 talk… now that u’ll soon be done with ur big bash, what do u think abt celebrating ur honeymoon in the quaint and invigorating rural landscape of Amethi?
William: Hmm. What does it have to offer?
Rahul_yuvraaj1970: u can do bed and breakfast in a quintessential Indian village household, next day v can go on a safari into the fields, then photo-op with women SHGs in the afternoon, in the evening v can have a townhall meeting and listen 2 people’s problems, followed by a puppet show, hit the dance floor in the village main hall at nite… will be fun, repeat cycle again
William: Okay, let me check with Kate and get back to you.
Rahul: coolio !!
Apparently, Kate loved the idea and a comprehensive 5 day program has been chalked out for the royal couple.
The royal couple will spend the first night in a quintessential village household setting remodeled as a bed and breakfast inn. Rahul himself will be spending the night in a neighboring household as part of his normal duties of connecting with the aam aadmi and empathizing with their problems.
After an early morning bed breakfast, the couple will accompany Rahul and his entourage on a safari into the rural hinterlands to catch a glimpse of the daily rural life. It seems Kate had certain concerns about the safari which yuvraaj addressed in his own inimitable manner. Refer to the following Gtalk snippet
Kate: But is it safe to interact like this with the… what was that.. “arm and aid me”?
Rahul_yuvraaj1970: aaaAAM aaaAADMI…
Kate: aaa.. aaa.. araam.. aid me..
Rahul_yuvraaj1970: Umm.. you could just call them mango people if that makes it easier for you. And yeah, its absolutely safe. The jeep would have protective bars and would follow a specific route. You could watch from a reasonable distance the aam aadmis going about their daily chores. They are usually gentle and do not respond unless provoked. Trust me, I’ve slept a few times in their dens.. I mean.. houses, and had no problems whatsoever.
After a sumptuous meal at a road-side dhabha, the royal couple and Rahul will then interact with Women SHG members. Rahul will brief the couple about the steps taken by ‘his Government’ to bring people out of poverty through mico-credit financed self employment programs.
The couple will then be given some time off for an afternoon siesta before they reconvene for a Gram Sabha discussion where they will watch Rahul listening to people’s problems. The evening will be rounded out by a puppet show that will showcase local folk traditions. Later in the evening, the couple will hit the dance floor with Rahul and his gang.
The royal couple is apparently extremely excited about celebrating their honeymoon in such an unconventional manner.
Congress Spokesman Singhvi said, “Who better than Rahul Gandhi, as the champion of the masses and a youth icon in his own right, to showcase rural India to the royal couple. The move is also loaded with symbolism since Gandhiji said India’s soul lay in her villages.” When asked whether escorting a royal couple for their honeymoon was an appropriate use of Rahul Gandhi’s time and the need to showcase India in the first place to what will essentially be non State guests, Singhvi resorted “Shri Rahul Gandhi is modern India’s prince and therefore it is only appropriate that he consort with British royalty. He is a non State actor himself so there is perfect equivalence”