“I am scared of being slapped with a shoe” Digvijay Singh’s exclusive interview to The Unreal Times

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Digivijay Singh shared his unique perspective on recent political developments and his own political career in an exclusive interview with The Unreal Times. Excerpts from the interview presented below:

The Unreal Times: Diggyji, the masses seem upset with your Government for the barbaric attack on Baba Ramdev’s supporters. The shoe throwing incident is a symptom of this fury…

Diggy [interrupting]: The shoe throwing incident  vindicates my stand that domestic saffron terrorism is a bigger danger to India than Pakistan sponsored terrorism.

The Unreal Times: Are you bracketing the shoe thrower with a Laskhar-e-Toeba Jihadi?

Diggy: Of Course, I would term him as a Saffron Lashkar-e-Shoeba terrorist. In fact, I have written to the Home Minister demanding Z class security for myself. I have one of the most dangerous jobs in the world – making mischievous statements to infuriate the majority community in the hope of winning a few minority votes.  If an unknown guy like Janardhan Dwivedi can invite such wrath, then I will need black commandos to protect my face from being slapped with a shoe.

The Unreal Times: Hmm…Did you have to kick the poor guy though after he had been intercepted?

Diggy: Heheh..That was a Pavlovian response on my part. You see, as a thoroughbred Congress politician, I have internalized giving and receiving kick-backs. I got a real kick out of kicking him man, reminded me of my school days.

The Unreal Times: What are your plans for the next few months?

Diggy: The high command wants me to train the Congress cadre in the art of ‘bullshitting with a straight face’. You see, they are worried about performing badly in the 2014 elections because of all these scams. I told Madam that if every worker can be trained to BS like me, then our victory is assured. Madam was  impressed with my plan and told me to go ahead.

The Unreal Times: Why did you not take a position in the cabinet since you are so close to the Gandhi family?

Diggy: You see, when the UPA 2  cabinet was being finalized, Madam said “Diggy, a person of your calibre is too good for the cabinet, Why don’t you mentor Rahul Baba who is still a little green behind the ears and also head  the “Making BS statements to win a few brownie points” cell. ?” I said “Whatever your Majesty desires”

The Unreal Times: How is Rahul Baba’s training coming along?

Diggy:  His brainwashing is only 40% complete. Every night  before he sleeps, I make him listen to tapes of my most famous quotes “Diggy Chacha ke Muhavare”. After his training is complete, he will be ready to take over from Manmohan Singh.

The Unreal Times: Diggyji, thanks for sharing your views.

Diggy: Pleasure was mine.

Related posts:

1. Revealed: Why Sunil Kumar brandished shoe before Congress spokesperson Janardhan Dwivedi