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After failing to find a suitable candidate to invite for “India’s most desirable”, Simi Garewal has decided to interview Pakistan based Lashkar-e-Taiba (LeT) chief and India baiter, Hafiz Muhammad Saeed. Simi apparently zeroed in on Saeed after coming across his profile on the Indian Home Ministry’s list of ‘most wanted’. “Madam finds Hafiz quite cute and hot and was keen to have him on her show. We tried convincing her that Hafiz Saeed is most wanted in India for all-together different reasons but madam was adamant. Apparently she’s bored to death with those inane, contrived conversations with Indian celebrities less than half her age and wants to connect with someone who is passionate, hirsute, unconventionally good looking and on the other side of 50,” said a producer of Simi’s show. “Listen guys, can’t I for a change chat with someone that I really fancy? Just this one episode,” pleaded the former Bollywood diva, forcing the producers to relent.
Hafiz Saeed accepted the invitation thinking it was from SIMI (Student’s Islamic Movement of India) and invited Simi and her crew to Muridke, the headquarters of his charitable organization, Jama’at-ud-Da’wah. Hafiz was kind enough to recreate the sets of Simi’s show at his headquarters and ordered his boys to act as the set audience to create the right ambience. Hafiz wanted to expatiate on the finer points of Islamic theology, the ideology of the movement he leads and grievances with India. Simi, on the other hand, was more interested in tidbits about his love life such as his first crush, his favorite heroine etc. Being a skilled interviewer, Simi managed to probe and reveal a tender, romantic side of the fiery LeT chief. Here are excerpts:
Despite differing perspectives, Simi managed to have a very interesting conversation with the LeT chief. “I was very impressed with Hafiz’s personality, charm, and sense of humour. I can see why he is on the Indian Home Ministry’s most wanted list,” purred Simi. Hafiz Saeed too seems to have been floored by Simi’s feminine charm. “Hindustan ke lie abhi bhi nafrat hai lekin Simiji’ ke liye hamare dil mein pyaar hai,” confessed Professor Saeed in a soft voice.