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Dr. Manmohan Singh has enrolled in the prestigious Roshan Taneja School of Acting in a bid to improve his body language and communication skills. “The PM ardently wishes to become an expert in acting in addition to economics to gain an edge over his political rivals and perhaps even develop a mass base. In keeping with his rigorous, theoretical approach, Dr. Singh was initially keen on pursuing a second doctoral degree in postmodern theater from his alma mater, Oxford, for this purpose but we suggested that a more practical, vocational type course under Taneja Sir might prove more useful,” revealed a top bureaucrat closely acquainted with the matter on the happy occasion of Dr. Singh’s birthday which he shares with Bollywood’s evergreen hero, Dev Saab.
Professor Taneja, who has groomed leading Bollywood stars such as Abhishek Bachchan, Govinda, Anil Kapoor, and Bobby Deol, confirmed the development. “Manmohan ji is a very hard-working student who always sits in the front benches and has even mugged the entire literature from the course material that I had handed out on the first day of classes. With such dedication and perseverance, not only will the PM top his batch but should blossom into a consummate thespian who can flirt like SRK, do comedy like Govinda and command screen presence like the Big B,” gushed Dr. Taneja. A highly enthusiastic Dr. Singh is also eager to be able to dance like Hrithik but Dr. Taneja has advised him to ‘go slow and not try to learn too much, too soon’.
According to PMO insiders, Dr. Manmoham Singh has started taking baby steps towards political stardom by diligently practicing SRK’s memorable dialogue from DDLJ,
“hey senorita bade bade sheheron mein aise choti choti baatein hoti rehti hai”,
a line that he will use to counter Shushma Swaraj in Parliament’s winter session if she tries to corner him on the 2G scam. The PM’s histrionics seem to have already won him brownie points with his boss. When a worried madam queried the PM about the impact of the Anna agitation on her party’s electoral prospects, the PM looked into her eyes and hammed,
“kabhi kabhi kuch jeetne ke liye kuch harna bhi padta hai.. aur haar kar jeetnay wale ko BAAZIGAR kehte hai…kya kehte hai???? BAAZIGAR….”
This filmi dialogue so impressed the UPA Chairman that she is not averse to letting him continue with his job even beyond 2014, assuming the UPA wins another term.
The BJP is not taking these developments lightly. Sources in 10, Ashoka Road have revealed that Shusma Swaraj may be replaced by Shatrugan Sinha as the leader of the Opposition in Parliament to counter the PM’s theatrics. “If the PM indeed begins to emote like SRK, all bets are off. We may even have to induct Big B into the party and project him as our Prime Ministerial candidate to remain in contention for power at the Center,” disclosed a worried BJP leader.