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In what could potentially have escalated into a military conflagration, an Indian buffalo today hoodwinked both BSF personnel and Pakistani rangers and crossed the international border near Kargil to answer the love calls of a petite Pakistani female buffalo called Munni. The uninvited Indian guest, who goes by the name Bobby, was however detected by Pakistani radars as an advancing blip, prompting Pakistani F-16s from the nearby Sargodha air-base to swing into action and intercept the intruder before he could ‘bond’ with his Pakistani paramour. The horny bovine was subsequently escorted to the Lahore army cantonment and interrogated to establish his antecedents.
After investigations revealed that Bobby meant no harm and only carried a message of love, he was promptly handed over to Indian authorities at the Wagah-Attari checkpoint. The gesture was appreciated by Prime Minister Manmohan Singh who personally thanked his counterpart, Yousuf Gilani, for Bobby’s safe return. The Pakistani PM however did not entertain Dr. Singh’s fervent plea to direct Pakistani authorities to let Bobby accomplish the main objective of his short excursion to Pakistan, revealed PMO sources.
The incident has evoked mixed reactions from the Indian side of the border. Former Panchayati Raj Minister, Mani Shankar Aiyar, termed it a positive development but cautioned that unless steps are taken to evolve a mechanism enabling uninterrupted and uninterruptable mating between buffaloes on either side of the border, everlasting peace between the two countries would remain a pipe-dream.
In contrast, Former Union Environment Minister, Maneka Gandhi has bemoaned the fact that Bobby’s trip remained unfruitful. “Pakistani authorities should have shown some tact and sensitivity by giving Bobby the privacy and time to finish his business before handing him over to us. This is a gross violation of the right to fornicate under the UN Charter Rule 123, governing the love lives of animals,” fumed the Gandhi bahu and animal rights activist.
The episode has catapulted Bobby to overnight stardom back in India, with leading television channels jostling with each other to get some intelligible ‘sound-bytes’ from the star buffalo. Arnab Goswami has already booked Bobby as an apt replacement for Congress spokesperson, Renuka Chaudhry, to discuss the hot topic of the day “Did Pakistan behave perfidiously by thwarting Bobby’s mission?” Bobby has also agreed to appear as an expert panelist on Sagarika Ghose’s Face the Nation to debate “Should the visa regime for buffaloes be relaxed to facilitate (re)productive cross border travel?”