Leading comic book super-hero Batman sent his CV to the President of India to become the Lokpal in anticipation of the Lokpal Bill being enacted by Parliament during the ongoing winter session.
“I personally prefer Team Anna’s Janlokpal bill but the Govt’s Lokpal bill also gives me legal cover to kick some a**,” observed an excited Batman to The Unreal Times comic-book correspondent, Raja Sen.
But does the proposed legislative framework give Batman enough teeth to do a good job? The caped crusader downplayed fears that not having the CBI’s investigation wing under the Lokpal’s control would handicap the anti-corruption ombudsman. “Dude, I can carry out investigations myself using fancy gizmos like the Batsignal, Batmobile and the Batplane. The Govt. only needs to ensure that those special courts to be set up under the Lokpal Act speedily conclude the trials and send the bad guys to jail.”
But even The Dark Knight felt that Group D officers should not be brought the ambit of the Lokpal, at least until Superman comes on board. “I can take on a few big jokers and battle high level corruption. But to deal with stuff like bogus ration cards and petty bribes in Govt. offices, we’ll need Superman, fellas. We can bring him on board once all the State Governments set up Lokayuktas,” he observed.
Batman, in anticipation of his appointment as the head of the anti-corruption body, is already working with CBI officials to install beaming equipment to beam the Bat-signal whenever his services are required, informed sources.
The caped crusader’s offer has elicited mixed responses from the establishment. Congress spokesperson Abhishek Singhvi said, “Shri Batman ji has a fine record against evil, at least on paper, and he is welcome to submit his resume for consideration. But his selection will hinge on how Rahul ji and Sonia ji feel about him.” Congress insiders revealed that Rahul ji prefers SRK’s G.one to Batman for the powerful post.
The Samajwadi party, on the other hand, has demanded that Batman also furnish a caste certificate to establish whether he is a SC, OBC or a member of one of the socially privileged castes before a considered decision can be taken on his application.
However, a poll conducted by The Unreal Times reveals that most Indians prefer Batman be drafted as a batsman into the struggling Indian cricket team instead, after the famed Indian batting line-up’s meek capitulation in the 4th innings of the Melbourne Test.