After General VK Singh and Deve Gowda, Hu Jintao now claims he was offered a bribe by a “middleman”!


Hu was approached by a 'middle man'

First, Army chief General V K Singh’s claimed that he was offered a Rs 14 crore bribe. Then it was the turn of former Prime Minister Deve Gowda to follow suit. This time it is none other than the Chinese President Hu Jintao, who has just claimed that he was offered a bribe by a “middleman”, by the name Meerabai, when he was in India for the BRICS summit.

“I was at Khan market in New Delhi, trying to check out what items our country could fake next. Suddenly, out of nowhere, this middleman in a saree clapped his hands, came up to me and asked me for a DVD of the blockbuster Jackie Chan movie, Rush Hour. He wanted it to be personally autographed by me. When I refused, he clapped his hands again, pulled out a few 50 Rupee notes from within his blouse and tried to bribe me. I think he has confused me with the villain of the movie, Juntao. My bodyguards have videotaped the incident. I think it has already been leaked to the media”, explained Jintao

On watching the videotape, it was revealed that Meerabai clapped her way through all the security officers without any hindrances, up to Jintao and said – “Ayeee..Chinki…aaa na re

(Meerabai claps, extends his hand)

(So does a baffled Jintao) “Hu Jintao!”

“Who?!! You Juntao!”

“Excuse me?”

“I seen you in Rush Hour….You were…ekdum jhakaas…matlab…awesome re! Please give me DVD re. Please autograph na re!”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
(Meerabai claps, pulls out Rs.50 notes from his blouse and hands them to Jintao)

“Now please give re

“I’m sorry. What’s going on here?!”

(Two other eunuchs call out)

“Meerabai ! Idhar aa!”

(Meerabai claps, blesses Jintao and leaves).

“Bye sweetie!”

A startled Jintao signed off, saying, “The police could not stop him. It surprised me that in this country, people don’t fear even the army, but fear a middleman?” However, if inside sources are to be believed, RJD and SP officials have slammed Jintao and have called for his immediate resignation, accusing him of leaking sensitive matters to the press.

As soon as the article was published on The Unreal Times, its cheap Mandarin translation started trending on Weibo (China’s Twitter equivalent), before authorities took steps to censor it by imprisoning 5 guys whose tweets had made it to the top of the trend.

(Reported by special correspondent, Ashwin S Kumar)

Ashwin Kumar

About Ashwin Kumar

1 of the proud columnists of URT, former co-editor of URT Tamil, amateur musician, Real Harris Jayaraj devotee, UnReal T. Rajendar fanatic, passionate about stopping female foeticide.