Top 10 reasons why IPL is like masturbation
1. You feel an overriding sense of shame when you watch the IPL.
2. It happens at least once a day. Sometimes twice, if you really don’t have anything going for you.
3. You’ve lost count of the number of times it has happened so far.
4. You have watched both on shaky live streams.
5. It puts you off when Pommie Mbangwa comes into your head.
6. You only watch IPL because you don’t have a girlfriend. Or, do you not have a girlfriend because you only watch IPL?
7. You use ‘strategic time-outs’ as, well… strategic time-outs.
8. Jerking off will make you blind, but the IPL will make you deaf, as it makes you want to gouge out your ears after listening to Danny Morrison.
9. Your forearm gets really strong, muting and un-muting Laxman Sivaramakrishnan’s commentry and Harsha Bhogle’s constant pimping of Karbon Kamaal, DLF and Citibank.
10. It just isn’t anything like the real thing.
(Reproduced with permission from the Alternative Cricket with some inputs from UnReal Team. Follow AltCricket on Twitter here)
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6 Responses to Top 10 reasons why IPL is like masturbation
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smart editing from the original post.
as expected ;-)
good work team (in general for all the posts)
and a special T-up to Ashwin kumar for his amazing satiric language.
Srujan
April 10, 2012 at 5:25 am
Thanks a lot Srujan :)
Ashwin
April 10, 2012 at 9:58 am
danny morrison’s commentry is so ugly..
ruben
April 10, 2012 at 10:11 am
& the time is not far whn we’ll see kasab playing for 1 of the franchisees…. maybe kkr… & shastri will say…he’s a cool customer, loads of experience, he makes the atmosphere electrifying, he takes the sea route …n blah blah blah..
ruben
April 10, 2012 at 10:14 am
robin,
how can you forget
‘that went like a tracer bullete.’ :p
Srujan
April 11, 2012 at 6:01 am
I am reading The Unreal Times for the first time and it’s superb. There is a lot of similarity between cyrus brocha’s writing and this. Kudos guys for the good work.
Nivas Bharathi
April 15, 2012 at 4:37 pm