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2. It happens at least once a day. Sometimes twice, if you really don’t have anything going for you.
3. You’ve lost count of the number of times it has happened so far.
4. You have watched both on shaky live streams.
5. It puts you off when Pommie Mbangwa comes into your head.
6. You only watch IPL because you don’t have a girlfriend. Or, do you not have a girlfriend because you only watch IPL?
7. You use ‘strategic time-outs’ as, well… strategic time-outs.
8. Jerking off will make you blind, but the IPL will make you deaf, as it makes you want to gouge out your ears after listening to Danny Morrison.
9. Your forearm gets really strong, muting and un-muting Laxman Sivaramakrishnan’s commentry and Harsha Bhogle’s constant pimping of Karbon Kamaal, DLF and Citibank.
10. It just isn’t anything like the real thing.