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The Unreal Times celebrated its anniversary – the website was launched this day exactly a year back – by throwing a grand party in New Delhi’s swanky Taj Mansingh that was attended by A listers from showbiz, sports, business, and of course, politics. Key note speakers included Dr Manmohan Singh, Digvijay Singh, Ravi Shastri, McKinsey India Managing Director and other celebrities, who through their unreal exploits over the last one year have done yeoman service to the cause of satire.
An unusually effervescent Dr. Manmohan Singh said, “I must take this opportunity to confess that I read The Unreal Times to keep myself grounded in Unreality. Frankly speaking, I have stopped thinking of The UnReal Times as a satire website. Instead, it represents a magical fantasy world, where I can be anything other than my geeky self! Oh it’s so exciting! I have been the brave Manmohan Singham, the brutal Terminator, the super-cool Steve Jobs and a proud Oscar winner too!” When asked whether Sonia Gandhi approved of his browsing pages from The UnReal Times, Dr. Singh said, “Madam also chills out by reading some Unreal stuff to take a break from the stifling sycophancy she has to deal with on a daily basis. So she’s cool with it.”
Managing Director of McKinsey, Adil Zainulbhai was effusive in his praise as well. “Well, yeah, I can’t deny it… we have enjoyed reading The UnReal Times, giving us some much-needed relief from our shitty jobs. We particularly enjoyed those posts where they took potshots at our lengthy powerpoint presentations and the supposed value-add we bring to our clients. HAHAHA!” he laughed. “To show our appreciation to The UnReal Times, my entire team has put a night out and come up with a..er.. powerpoint presentation with 500 slides!”
NDTV anchor, Barkha Dutt, who expressed her disappointment at not being able to personally participate in the celebrations, was kind enough to send us this message, “Your highly inaccurate and biased coverage of news sets the benchmark for the rest of us. Thank you, The Unreal Times, for setting such high standards of unprofessionalism.”
The star of the evening, however, was Digvijay Singh, who regaled the guests with his inimitable quotes about RSS, Osama bin Laden, Hafiz Saeed and Rahul Gandhi, and hilarious mimicry of Pranabda’s Bengali accent. The veteran Congress leader said, “To be honest, I can no longer remember or tell the difference between the quotes I gave to The UnReal Times and to mainstream media, but what the hell, I am sure you guys love me all the same.”
The rest of the evening witnessed boisterous scenes, with Ravi Shastri chasing down our special correspondent Ashwin S. Kumar and eventually pinning him down, reflexively muttering lines like “No half measures there”, “Ravi gives Ashwin the full monty”, “throwing the kitchen sink at him” as he proceeded to exact revenge for all the articles Ashwin had written on him.
The night ended with an item number by Kareena and Saif, frequently the butt of UnReal jokes, followed by a half hour reading session by the participants of various UnReal news reports from the archives.
From the UnReal Team: Dear readers, Thank you for reading our stuff all these months, and thank you for laughing at our inane jokes.