Sonia Gandhi pays tribute to the late Eugene Polley, inventor of remote control

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The news of Eugene Polley's death has saddened Sonia Gandhi

The passing away of Eugene Polley, the inventor of the ubiquitous television remote on Sunday, has brought great grief to Congress President and UPA chairperson Sonia Gandhi. If Law Minister Salman Khurshid is to be believed, Sonia was supposed to have shed copious tears of sadness on hearing the news.

In a press statement, Gandhi said, “I’m extremely grieved to announce the sudden demise of Eugene. What he invented has served as an inspiration for my politics and the functioning of my government. If I did not possess the remote, my government wouldn’t have been able to function at all! I now realize the value of this device and each button on it – the mute button for Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, the channel scan button which traverses across all frequencies, meant for President Patil, Power button for Mamata Didi, Surround Bass for Diggy, Volume – for Rahul, Volume + for Sibal, the Display button for the media, which always displays us best! Sigh… I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Eugene, for this highly invaluable device, critical to the running of my party and government. May your soul rest in peace! Amen!” before observing a minute’s silence for the departed soul.

Other sections of society are also in mourning. A home-maker, Mrs Vasantha Krishnamurthy, from Chennai,  lamented, “Aiyoo R. I. P. Polley da. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have fought with my kids so much! Now, everyday, I fight for the remote because I want to watch K-serials whereas my children want to watch Pokemon!”

A group of urban men in their late 20s thanked the man for having included the channel + and – buttons on the remote, with one of them saying, “I remember those days! We used to watch Fashion TV in the middle of the night and then suddenly when we’d hear someone approach, we’d swiftly shift channels! I just can’t imagine what would’ve become of us all, had the remote not been there and someone had caught us!”

There were also stray rumors of the government planning to honor Eugene by distributing free TV remotes to rural BPL households, under a new social welfare scheme called the Rajiv Gandhi Doorasth Niyantran (Remote Control) Yojana.

Jokes apart, my deepest respects and sincere thanks to the man who invented something as unbelievably important as this! May his soul rest in peace! Thanks Eugene Polley for this incredible device!

(Reported by special correspondent, Ashwin S Kumar)


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  • KUMAR IYER

    a good one. should also do one on shastri taking a dig at kirti azad for asking transperancy in BCCI and IPL and had gone on “Fast” last sunday at Kotla. Say shastri flashed and flashed hard at kirti. !!

    • http://ashwinskumar.blogspot.com/search/label/Satiric%20posts Ashwin

      haha ..thanks

  • Tejaswi

    The disgruntled BJP leader from Karnataka, Mr B.S Yeddyurappa, however, did not have the best of condoling words for Eugene Polley as successive attempts by the latter to control the BJP leadership using a “remote”, had not worked. Mr Yeddyurappa was interrupted by his personal secretary when he had begun saying that MP for Bangalore South, Ananth Kumar, KSE and DVS had conspired with the American engineer…. Meanwhile, according to reports from Chennai, former chief minister of the state, Mr Karunanidhi, in spite of his ill health, offered condolences to Eugene. In a statement issued by the party, Mr Karunanidhi said “In future, we shall provide 2 remotes for every color TV that we distribute during elections”. This in his opinion, was a way of paying tribute to the demised engineer.

    • http://ashwinskumar.blogspot.com/search/label/Satiric%20posts Ashwin

      LOL !!

  • M.L

    stupendous post, Oracle of unreal times.

    • http://ashwinskumar.blogspot.com/search/label/Satiric%20posts Ashwin

      thanks :)

  • vanita

    The title stirred a laughter…Brilliant comparision between Sonia ji’s functionality to a device called remote control… ” The power button for mamta didi” is an absolute fittment… Am not happy as u dint give any place to my pawar kaka :-) Neverthless, they al stand a chance to be somethin or the other, coz as a layman or a lay woman, I mean laywoman, I am not well versed with the complete functionality of a remote.

    • http://ashwinskumar.blogspot.com/search/label/Satiric%20posts Ashwin

      thanks a lot :)