Nitin Gadkari starts his own blog to counter anti-BJP propaganda

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Nitin: "Somebody made this cartoon. I love it!"

BJP President Shri Nitin Gadkari has started his own blog, www.golgappa.com, where he will dwell on a range of pressing issues such as the BJP’s internal squabbles, corruption, price rise, and last but not the least, food security.

We present his first post under an exclusive content sharing arrangement:

Jai Shri Ram!

Wah, majaa aa gaya! Just had some awesome lunch – butter paneer, malai kofta, butter naan, kaju korma and kheer! After such a heavy lunch, I thought let me burn some calories by starting a blog and making an entry. Besides, blogging should butter, I mean, buttress, my image of being a heavyweight and a bulwark against the forces on the Left. Oh well, its time to step forward and connect with my fans directly.

My colleagues tell me that Shri Advani ji wrote a blog titled ‘BJP a tub of hope’ or ‘a hub of tope’.. something like that.. any which ways, I didn’t really understand what it was all about, but I’ll soon get on top of it. I’ve constituted a committee to analyze the blog post and summarize the findings. After the committee turns in its report, I’ll sleep on it.

The mood in the party is really upbeat these days. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Only yesterday we pulled off a nifty maneuver by sneaking in a Bharat Bandh with surgical precision exactly in the timeslot between the petrol hike announcement by Congress and the mandatory partial roll back brought about by its fussing allies. If UPA thought they were being smart in announcing a hike accounting for a rollback, we went one better by taking all the credit for the rollback! With minimum effort too! I did my bit for the Bandh by not turning up at the BJP office and slacking off for the day.

But I digress. The point is, the mood among rank and file is kickass. Party cadre had a whale of a time manning the streets all day yesterday and intimidating shopkeepers into pulling down their shutters, and have been asking for more ever since!

As a result, I’ve decided that we’ll hold a ‘Jan Sangharsh Abhiyan’ from June 7. Towards the same I’m planning to have another core committee meeting this week. Modi bhai has again said that he will not attend if Sanjay Joshi attends. Sanjay Joshi has said that he’ll not attend if Sushma ji’s cat attends the meeting as he’s allergic to felines. Sushmaji’s cat said it will not attend the meeting if Jaitley ji’s dog is present. And Advaniji has refused to attend if Modi bhai is the chief guest.

So as you can see, organizing a rally under all these constraints is quite a challenge, but I’m upto the task! I’ve hired an IIT grad, Raghib Ahmed, to develop an algorithm to maximize the objective function while satisfying these constraints. Raghib said the algorithm is ready, and that we could use the core committee meeting as a dry run. Woohoo!

Meanwhile, let me express my happiness about the way our campaign against corruption is going, and outline the steps I’ve undertaken towards the same.

- Team Anna have threatened to start yet another agitation. For whatever that is worth, I’m been trying my best to ensure that they fight the government instead of going after each other. Although I just don’t understand where they find the passion for such stuff. Can’t they just join us in organizing Bharat Bandhs to protest price rise, a safe topic for all parties?

- I am also in constant touch with Dr. Subramaniam Swamy to keep myself abreast of his latest moves so that our spokespersons can make informed points in debates on prime time television when called upon to do so.

- I’ve invited ex-BSP leader Baburam Kushwaha for lunch this weekend to learn from his first-hand experience in corruption so that we can fight it better. He’s been such a terrific find for us – a real veteran in the difficult art of corruption. We have tons to learn from him. People may not realize it now, but then hardly anyone is as far-sighted as me. I know I’ll be proven right in the long term when BJP becomes a lean, mean corruption fighting unit. In the meantime, we’ll continue the strategy that has served us so well over the past 3 years – remaining moribund and watching the Congress implode.

Uff! All this blogging business has made me really hungry. Chalo, I am off to get a snack and catch reruns of yesterday’s “Bade Ache Lagte Ho“. See you guys later!

Nitin ‘Golu’ Gadkari
BJP President

PS: Really excited to welcome Jaya Prada into the party.

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  • M.L

    superbly hilarious post. congrat