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Grappling with a sharp drop in TRPs after the end of IPL, Sony Entertainment Television has decided to get back into the game by acquiring the broadcast rights of what seems to be another IPL in the making – The Indian Presidency League.
The government was initially reluctant to allow proceedings of the unfolding tamasha – whether it be backroom discussions, posturing, brinkmanship, and rival candidates taking swipes at each other – to be televised, but conceded to SET’s request, following an intervention by BCCI President N.Srinivasan.
Needless to say, Parliamentary Affairs Minister Rajeev Shukla, will also be the League’s Commissioner, given his experience running its cricket cousin. “There wheel be cheerleaders who wheel be dancing for each master-e-stroke by every team,” disclosed Mr Shukla.
Anchors Gaurav Kapur and Samir Kochchar, who were traced via their resumes on Naukri.com, have been recalled immediately to host the new reality show. Much needed glamour and oomph will be provided by Archana Vijaya and Shibani Dandekar, who have been cooling their heels as call center employees (they had bagged these jobs courtesy their yankee accents).
Boring Television anchors such as Rajdeep, Sagarika and Barkha will be replaced by an elite commentary panel comprising Danny Morrison, Shastrti, Sunny, and Sidhu to provide expert insights on fast paced developments on the political pitch.
Shastri has been practicing his clichés such as “all 3 results possible”, “going down to the wire” and “just what the doctor ordered” which lend themselves very well to the new game on hand. Sunny says he’s cool covering this new type of game. “Dude, I managed to cover 70 T-20 IPL matches without throwing up every time a batsman played a cross batted slog. After that I can put up with anything,” he said.
Sources in New Zealand say that Danny has already begun to acquaint himself with the way great Indian political game is played, saying “Oh my God! Mamata and Mulayam have just smeeshed Sonia outta the park for a DLF Maximum!!!”, “That’s a brilliant Karbon Kamaal catch by Seengma!” and “This one’s surely gotta be a Citi Moment of Success for Abdul Keelaam!”.
Congress leaders are persuading Luke Pomersbach to repeat his act and steal the limelight in the event of an embarrassment for the party in the polls. However, Sidharth Mallya confirmed that the latter was already in a meeting with Baba Ramdev, who had visited Luke to seek his support against black money.
“Wat a load of f***in sh*t! Ramdev is all over Luke! Hes asking his BM (black money) PIN ! He’s not exactly behaving like a future Baba!” tweeted Mallya Jr.
(Reported by special correspondent, Ashwin S Kumar)