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Pivotal Team Anna member Arvind Kejriwal has decided to take a break from the fight against corruption to become an Investment Banker. The most prominent face of India against Corruption (IAC) will now be working for Goldman Sachs as a Vice-President in their Investment Banking Division’s Strategies Group and will make sales pitches to wealthy clients instead of pitching for the Janlokpal bill.
Explaining the sudden change of career during a hurriedly convened press conference, Arvind said: “Yaar, I’ve been slogging my butt off for society for so long. Now I want to look out for myself and my family instead. The constant nagging by the missus about not having enough money for the education of the kids, retirement, taking a mortgage, you know…the usual middle class gripe finally got to me.”
The anti-corruption crusader hastened to add that it was only a sabbatical and he would rejoin Team Anna once he’s made a few crores to silence his nagging missus. “Look, clearly this struggle to get the Janlokpal bill or any Lokpal bill for that matter passed will take at least another 50 years. So taking a 2 year sabbatical to recharge is not at all a bad idea,” he explained and went on to draw parallels between Team Anna’s agitation and the struggle for independence under Gandhiji to drive home the point.
“Bapuji launched his struggle against colonialism in 1919 and when did we finally achieve independence? A good 28 years later. Things move slowly in India and one needs to be patient about these things,” he observed.
Arvind conceded that adjusting to the rigors of corporate life after a heady career as a social activist would be tough. “Yeah, I’ll have to get used to 14 hour workdays, tight deadlines, performance appraisals and shit like that. But at least I’ll get to chill in AC rooms in front of a terminal rather than agitating under the hot sun with Annaji,” he reasoned.
But will he be able to adjust to working in an unforgiving, hyper-competitive environment where razor sharp focus on profits for the company takes precedence over everything else including, and especially, working for the larger good of society?
“Yeah, that’s why the Goldman Sachs folks have told me to re-read Adam Smith’s The Wealth of Nations to convince myself that by selfishly pursuing my narrow pecuniary interests, I will be led by an invisible hand to unintentionally promote the interests of society at large,” averred the corruption crusader turned corporate executive.
“Oh, by the way, that invisible hand metaphor reminds me of how the CBI is…never mind,” he trailed off.