Didi demands HiggsBoson be renamed Higgs-Bongo since credit should go to all Bengalis, not just Bose

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Even as the world exults over the discovery of the elusive Higgs-Boson, West Bengal CM Mamata Banerjee has demanded that the long-sought particle be renamed the Higgs-Bongo particle, since the credit for conceptualizing its existence should go to all Bengalis, not just Professor SN Bose, the Bengali physicist, who laid much of the groundwork for the theory of sub-atomic particles.

“We took credit for KKR’s victory in IPL. Similarly, the credit for Higgs-Basu particle must also go to all Bengali bhadralok, whether they be Bannerjees, Sens, Rays, even Mukherjees, not just SN Bose. After all, it was because of his inherent Bengali intellect and culture that SN Bose could conjure the God particle,” said Didi, who has planned an open top bus parade led by actor Rahul Bose, the most famous Bose in present times, to celebrate the occasion.

The Bose Cultural Association (BCA) of India has also requested Mamata to take up with New Delhi the issue of Boses historically not getting their due both at the national and international level.

“Boses have always been unfairly treated right from Khudiram Bose, who was unjustly hanged at the tender age of 18, to Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose, who was edged out as Congress President in 1939, despite getting the popular mandate, at the insistence of MK Gandhi.

Why, even in cricket, poor Gopal Bose’s promsing cricketing career was cut short after he fell out with the establishment. And more recently, Bipasha Bose Basu was unceremoniously dumped by that John chap, Jyoti Basu was prevented by his own party from becoming PM, Kaushik Basu gets trolled on twitter, Prosenjit Bose was expelled from the CPI-M…the list is endless. So SN Bose getting overshadowed by Higgs is part of the trend, you see. The last straw was that DK-Bose song which made our community the butt of jokes. In fact, the Bose community’s decline has been so precipitous that the only famous Bose we have now is Rahul Bose,” lamented Subroto Bose, President of BCA.

After The Unreal Times pointed out that perhaps the the biggest injustice to the Bose community was the callous distortion of their surname – Bose is an anglicized corruption of Basu, one more of the many atrocities perpetrated by the British on Bengal during the colonial era – Subroto burst into tears.

In related news, actor Rahul Bose has changed his name to Rahul Boson in an attempt to get better film offers and graduate to an A-grade star. “I totally lack mass appeal. I hope being called a Boson gives me some much needed heft,” reasoned Bose Boson.

But when The Unreal Times pointed out that the Higgs field works selectively and gives mass only to some, not all, particles, Rahul Boson muttered ‘Bose-DK’ in a fit of rage.

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