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In what is a testament to Hinduism’s assimilative capacity, the elusive Higgs-Boson or God particle has been admitted as a full fledged God into the Hindu pantheon and a temple in His honor has been built in Tamil Nadu’s Kancheepuram district.
Confirming the development, Swami Vajranand Sarwasti, head of the decade old Higgs-Boson consciousness sect dedicated to the propagation of devotion to Lord Higgs-Boson and attainment of spiritual salvation by chanting His name, said, “Ever since CERN confirmed that they had discerned the Lord’s temporal presence after detecting a bump in the mass range based on the data generated from collisions of trillions of sub-atomic particles, we have been inundated with calls by eager devotees seeking a darshan of Higgs-Boson bhagwaaan. So we decided to build a temple in His honour to satisfy the cravings of His devotees.”
In addition to the sanctum sanctorum housing the idol of Lord Higgs-Boson, the temple’s walls will feature murals and carvings depicting data from CERN’s experiments involving over 500 trillion collisions between protons and anti-protons since 2001 in the 27 km long Large Hadron Collider (LCH), so that devotees can feel His divine presence at a more spiritual, metaphysical level.
But how will He be represented in idol form since thus far only His presence has been validated, not visual form? “Dude, most Gods and Goddesses in the Hindu pantheon are anthropomorphic so why should Lord Higgs-Boson be any exception unless CERN tells us otherwise. We have asked devotees to send in their submissions from which we will finalize the Lord’s image. The only guideline we venture is that He should be imbued with classical Aryan features. For the time being, we’ll just go with a notional Google search generated image of the Lord,” replied Swami Vajranand.
“However, let me make it clear at the outset that we will not accept pictures of Rajnikant, Sachin Tendulkar or Rahul Bose. We are very clear about this,” he hastened to add.
Swamiji has also requested the Government to subsidize the annual pilgrimage of devotees to CERN headquarters to pay obeisance at the Large Hadron Collider where the Lord’s divine presence was first detected.
In related news, upcoming Godman Swami Brahmanand has claimed that he is an avatar of Higgs-Boson and CERN can stop conducting any more experiments to validate His presence. “Once they submit to me with full faith and experience the divine rays of spiritual energy emanating from me, their lingering doubts will melt away and they will go back with 10 sigma proof that Swami Brahmanand and Higgs-Boson are one and the same,” claimed the Swamiji.