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After he triggered a controversy with his remarks that Rahul Gandhi is playing only a cameo role, Salman Khurshid was summoned to 10, Janpath to explain himself. What happened over there? The UnReal Times bring you the transcript.
Within minutes of receiving the call from Sonia’s personal secretary, Salman Khurshid is outside the 10, Janpath compound. Determination is writ large on the Law Minister’s face.
“The Lord knows I spoke the truth, and I will stand by it. Nobody can make me do otherwise!” he tells himself as he walks purposefully towards the gate.
“Yeh aapne kya kar diya, Salman bhai?” says the guard, shaking his head, as he opens the gate to let Salman in.
“What do you mean kya kar diya? You know I spoke the truth. I will tell it again to her!” retorts Salman angrily. The guard simply shrugs. Salman glares at him, and takes the narrow path across the lawns. The gardener looks up.
“Hope to see you here again sometime, Sir ji,” he says, with a sad smile. “If you ever have any financial problems, you can always get in touch with me.”
“Shut up and just do your work, Ramlal,” says Salman hotly, but not with as much conviction.
Sonia’s bodyguards are out in the yard – hulking men working out in the open. One of them glares at Salman Khurshid and slaps his arms. Another slaps his thigh. Salman quickly averts his gaze and hurries towards the door.
Sonia’s butler answers the door. “She’s in her room,” he says. Salman nods and walks on. The butler calls out, “It was nice serving you tea all these years, Salman bhai!”
Salman stops dead in his tracks. The colour has drained from his face now. He opens and closes his mouth like a goldfish, looking for a suitable retort that wouldn’t come. The butler pats him on his shoulder sympathetically and leaves.
With heavy feet, Salman makes his way towards Sonia’s chamber. With trembling hands, he knocks on her door.
“Come in!” comes back the reply.
Gingerly, Salman pushes open the door and steps in. He finds her sitting on a sofa chair with her back to him, watching the 42 inch TV in her chamber.
“Come Salman ji, lets watch TV for a bit,” she says, continuing to look at the television screen.
Salman stumbles to her side, and looks around for a chair to sit on. Finding none, he looks at Sonia with a puzzled expression.
“Is there a problem, Salman ji?” asks Sonia serenely, eyes still fixated at the screen.
“N..n..no.. Sonia ji,” blurts Salman, and proceeds to sit down crosslegged on the floor, facing the television screen. Sonia, with the remote in her hand, is switching channels every few seconds.
“The remote control device is such a lovely invention, don’t you think Salman ji?” says Sonia.
“Yes, yes, Sonia ji,” agrees Salman hastily. “Wonderful invention! Best invention ever!”
There’s now a period of silence, with only the ominous tick-tock sound of the large clock in the room.
The discovery channel is on. A cheetah is chasing a hapless deer before pinning it down and sinking its claws into its neck. Sonia switches the channel. Its HBO. Jurassic Park is on. A velociraptor bares its teeth at a terrified man before swallowing him in one go. Sonia switches the channel. To Cartoon Network. Tom chases down Jerry, and pummels him to a pulp with a large hammer. Sonia switches the channel. A match from IPL5 is playing on Star Cricket. Chris Gayle hits five consecutive sixes off Rahul Sharma, leaving him devastated.
Salman bites his lip and wipes a bead of sweat from his forehead with a quivering hand.
“Uff. Nothing good is on TV these days,” she says, and switches the television off.
“So, Salman ji,” she turns to Salman, and peers at him over her spectacles for 10 seconds. Salman visibly wilts under her gaze.
“What exactly does the word ‘cameo’ mean?”
Like Jonty Rhodes in his prime, Salman leaps up from his spot and dives full length towards Sonia. Clutching her feet, he screams, “I AM SORRY SONIA JI! I DIDN’T MEAN IT! I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING! I AM SORRY, SORRY, SORRY!”
Sonia takes off her glasses, lifts a weeping Salman’s face and smiles kindly, “Now, now, Salman ji, everybody makes mistakes. Whats important is what we learn from them.”
“YES SONIAJI..I AM SORRY SORRY SORRY,” splutters Salman, sobbing profusely.
“So what did we learn from this incident,” asks sonia, handing Salman a tissue.
Salman wipes his tears with his sleeve, and noisily blows his nose into the tissue. Sonia looks on patiently, and waits for him to recover his composure. Salman stops weeping, takes a moment to calm himself and looks up at Sonia, “RAHUL IS MY LEADER, CHAMPION AND GOD!” he says.
“Very good!” says Sonia encouragingly. “Now let’s just consolidate this thought,” she says and hands him a piece of chalk.
Salman Khurshid spends the rest of the day writing “RAHUL IS MY LEADER, CHAMPION AND GOD” a 1000 times on the large blackboard in 10 Janpath’s conference room.
And just like that, everything is back to normal in the Congress camp.