Railway Agents want to sign Rajnikanth for IRCTC booking for Diwali

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In what may seem as an out of the box proposal, the railways agents have started hunting for Rajnikanth for booking tickets in IRCTC for Diwali time.

It all happened when the window for 9^th November, the Friday before the Diwali, opened on 11 July for IRCTC reservation. The reservation started at 8 am and at 8.01 am, it was showing “Waiting List” for most of the important trains across the nation.  And at 8.05 am, the status had changed to “Regret”.

“I started booking my ticket at sharp 8.00 am with the seats availability of over 300 seats, but by the time, I made my payment I got a ticket with Waiting list of 500. Who to blame? The immeasurable crowd or the snail- speed IRCTC?” complained an agitated passenger who aspired to get a ticket from Pune to Howrah in Azad Hind Express during Diwali.

Its not just the commoners but also the celebs who are affected. Even Laloo Prasad Yadav could not get a ticket booked during Diwali. “Humka Patna se Bambai jana raha, par ee sasura Computer me adhe ghante ghante tak gol gol ek thok chakri ghomat rahi au fir waiting list ka ticket thama diya. Hamra railway hamka hi dhoka de diya raha,” complained the ex-Railways Minister who pledged he would love his buffalo more than the IRCTC sites forever after this unbelievable fiasco.

The railway agents are equally exasperated. “We are running out of business in Diwali. Since, now the booking starts 4 months earlier, I had to hire 100 boys in different counters to book 1 confirmed ticket from Chennai to Kanpur during Diwali. If I sign up Rajnikanth, he can help me book tickets in nanoseconds. Not just that, given his track record of multitasking, he can help us book multiple tickets at the same time.” The general quota for Diwali is already full. Let us sign him for tatkal quota, so that we can get at least some of our business during the festival”

The IRCTC reservation in Diwali has become such a serious issue that Mayawati and Ram Vilas Paswan are planning to demand reservation for the Dalits in the railway reservation as well. Sources say that Mulayam Singh Yadav and Karunanidhi may ask to extend it to Muslims and Tamils in case such a bill is introduced in the Parliament.

When the Railway Minister was asked about it, he looked up to Didi who was deeply agitated. “This is nothing but the conspiracy of the CPI (M). All the tickets were already booked by Maoists. I will take strong action against it,” shouted Didi.

Amir Khan mentioned in an interview – “I will definitely take up this issue in the next Satyameva Jayate. It is very disgustful to wait for hours and hours looking at blank screen seeing things moving at the speed of a Ramgopal Verma movie. You can SMS Y if you feel we should have a right to railway reservation in IRCTC.”

When our correspondent asked Rajnikanth if he was willing to work for agents in IRCTC reservation, he replied -“If Amir is taking 90 minutes for just raising the issues of people, can’t I take out a few nano-seconds for actually doing something for them? “Mind it! I successfully booked my son-in-law’s IRCTC ticket at precise 8.00.00.03 AM from Chennai to Mumbai. Although he preferred flight, but I told him – ‘you are already flying too much after Kolaveri D. So, feel a touch of the ground. Travel by train.’”

Meanwhile, students and IT professionals all over the country have started wearing good luck rings and lockets months in advance to get a tatkal reservation during Diwali. Some have even booked themselves for a Nirmal Baba session to get ‘kripa’ for IRCTC reservation while many have started looking for Chacha Choudhary whose brain is claimed to be working faster than a Computer. The Unreal Times hopes that everyone gets a ticket in the railways and gets to celebrate Diwali with their loved ones.

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