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Reflecting on the mauling of his team in the 2nd ODI at Hambantota, M S Dhoni hailed the Lankan players for not letting the excruciating tediousness of partaking in yet another Indo-Sri Lanka encounter get to them.
“Well of course we sucked today because we were bored to death while playing this pointless match. On days like these, I wish I had remained a happy go lucky ticket collector in Jharkhand. My friends tell me it’s a boring job but nowhere as boring as an Indo-Sri Lanka cricket match. All credit to Lankan team for managing to overcome these weary and mentally enervating conditions and lifting their game,” revealed the Indian skipper during the post match conference.
Dhoni said the boys to their credit did try to make a match of it in the second innings. “Well, before the second innings started, I tried to motivate the boys by suggesting we approach it as a T-20 match. Kudos to them for managing to stretch it to the penultimate ball of the 20th over,” he added.
Former cricketing greats have slammed the BCCI for scheduling a series no one wanted. “We have barely recovered from the tedium of watching the last series so what was the need to schedule this so soon? Both players and fans are not emotionally ready for India playing Sri Lanka,” pointed out Sunny.
Ravi Shastri was equally scathing. “No cliché is adequate to describe the pedestrian fare on display. This is just not what the doctor ordered,” he fumed to The Unreal Times.
Meanwhile, the Indian team is struggling to cope with all round listlessness and ennui ever since it landed in the emerald isle and a pall of despondency hangs over the dressing room. “Pak gaya yaar Sri Lanka ke saath khel ke. I don’t even mind playing Pakistan in Pakistan but spare us this mental agony, boss,” wailed a senior player, on condition of anonymity.
There are even rumors of Virat Kohli sending his resume to TCS for a regular IT desk-job if another India-Sri Lanka ODI series gets scheduled in the near future. “My friends in IT sector tell me that they are able to actually focus on coding whenever India plays Sri Lanka. Kahan phas gaya yaar,” moaned the Delhi lad, who has now played 35% of his international matches against Sri Lanka.
In related news, a 35 year old avid cricket fan in Patna, Uday Sinha, died of sheer boredom while watching yesterday’s match. “We warned Uday to not get so engrossed in the pointless match but he insisted on seeing it ball by ball with fatal consequences,” sniffed his widow, Sonam Sinha.