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The Indian Prime Minister, known hitherto as Dr. Manmohan Singh, has embarked on bold reforms, albeit of a personal nature, by appending ‘Gandhi’ to his name in a bid to bolster his political standing. Pundits opine that this simple semantic reform has ensured that the PM will no longer be regarded as a political lightweight.
“That’s right, I’m the new Gandhi on the block. And to all those who cavil about my political impotence, all I have to say is just STFU,” thundered Dr. Manmohan Singh Gandhi during a media briefing to announce the change of name. The PM also insisted that his cabinet colleagues henceforth address him as Dr. Gandhi rather than Prime Minister to underscore his enhanced political credentials.
Dr. Gandhi admitted that he had faced some resistance initially from Gurcharan. “Yeah, initially she didn’t take well to my proposal and kept yelling ‘Sikhni hoon main Bhatinda ki’. But once I made her grasp the significance of being addressed as Mrs. Gandhi, she fell in line,” chuckled Dr. Manmohan Gandhi.
In keeping with his new identity as a Gandhi, and therefore a charismatic mass leader, Dr. Gandhi recently addressed a large gathering in Chak Jat village in Punjab’s Tarn Taran district. The speech was well received, reckons Panjawar Singh, the village mukhiya. “He kept making references to animal spirits which the villagers appreciated since the cows in this region have not been keeping well of late and milk yields have dropped. I must say his knowledge of animal husbandry is very good,” disclosed the mukhiya.
The change of name has left Congress workers confused, though. “Who is our leader now? Sonia Gandhi, Gurcharan Gandhi, Dr Gandhi or Rahul Gandhi? Ah well, on the bright side, at least our ardent desire of having a Gandhi as the Prime Minister of the country has been finally fulfilled,” said a party worker, eyes welling up with tears.
Dr. Manmohan Gandhi’s change of name has been welcomed by his relatives. “In addition to being the nation’s first Sikh PM, Manmohan-ji has also become the first Sikh to have a Parsi surname. He rocks,” raved Bubbly Kaur, the PM’s grand-niece.
Rahul Gandhi has also reacted positively. “Mummy informs me that so far there has never been a PhD graduate in the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty. Manmohan uncle has filled the void, I’m so happy,” said the Nehru-Gandhi scion.