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With Micheal Phelps becoming the most successful Olympic athelete ever with 19 medals in his kitty, Indian sports minister Ajay Maken has invited the swimming legend to become the Cabinet Secretary to the Government of India, the highest post an IAS officer can aspire to, should Phelps embrace Indian citizenship.
The announcement comes a couple of days after Indian shooter Gagan Narang brought home the country’s first Olympics 2012 medal and was consequently awarded the rank of an IAS officer by Maken. “It is sheer logical extrapolation. 1 bronze medal for an IAS officer, so 19 medals overall definitely warrants nothing less than the position of the Cabinet secretary. Of course, Phelps will have to embrace Indian citizenship for that,” Maken was quoted saying.
This would also mean that incumbent Cabinet secretary Ajit Seth will have to step down. When Maken was asked what would become of him, he said, “We in the UPA government believe in the modified version of the Peter Pan principle. We allow our ministers to rise well beyond their highest level of incompetence. With Sushil Kumar Shinde as the Home Minister, P Chidambaram as the Finance Minister, it is only logical that Rahul Gandhi be made the Prime Minister and as for Ajit Seth, I guess we can make him the Defence Minister.”
“Politics is always an unfriendly battle where only those who can swim against the current can survive. Moreover, we have so many floods happening in the country every now and then. Phelps ji’s abilities will come in handy at such times. As for Narang, he will be sent to the Maoist infested district of Sukma in Chhatisgarh,” said Maken. Electronics giant Philips too has feted Phelps with a grand endorsement deal.
Reacting to the offers, an excited Phelps said, “Wow! That sounds great dude! I have been told that sarkari jobs in India are awesome and so have aways wanted to be a babu. I’ve also heard there is an awesome river called Yamuna that flows through Delhi where I can swim to my heart’s content. India, here I come.”
In related news, the United Nations has conferred nationhood on Michael Phelps, who will be henceforth called The People’s Republic of Michael Phelps (PRMP). As of Wednesday, PRMP was tied at the 10th spot with South Africa in the London Olympics medal standings.