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The ignominious disqualification of the Chinese pair, Yu Yang and Wang Xialoi, from the Olympics women’s doubles event for allegedly throwing some of their round-robin stage matches in order to manipulate the draw in the knock-out stage has exposed the glaring shortcomings of Chinese players at the international level when it comes to the delicate craft of match-fixing.
However, in keeping with their quest for perfection, the Chinese have attempted to rectify this chink in their armor by availing the services of match-fixing expert and former Pakistan Test cricketer, Salman Butt.
The former Pakistani skipper has been contracted to work closely with the Chinese women’s national Badminton team and help them master the fine art of losing, and doing so gracefully, whenever the occasion demands.
Confirming the appointment of Butt, Xinhua, China’s official news agency, said in a commentary:
“Confucius say that winning is not everything and one must also lose sometimes to win in long run. However, China today humiliated after Chinese badminton players lost in disgraceful manner. But China will not hang head in shame and let arrogant West exult over China’s discomfiture. For all-weather friend Pakistan has lent us Confucian master, Salman Butt, to help China become champion of ancient sub-continental art of losing valiantly and with head held high. Thanks to Master Butt, China’s friendship with Pakistan is now loftier than the Himalayas, longer than the Indus, and portlier than the Inzamam-ul-Haq (sic).” [translated from Mandarin]
Salman Butt has promised to turn his wards into champion match-fixers cum spot fixers during the course of an intense two year training program codenamed ‘Chuck De, China’ [ 'Throw it China', or alternatively 'Win it, China', subject to interpretation]
“I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw those Chinese girls throwing their matches in such an obvious manner during the London Olympics. It brought a bad name to the entire match-fixing community. They showed no finesse, no grace; it was utterly shameful, yaar. Anyway, I’ll work closely with them to improve their spot-fixing and match fixing abilities and help them develop into complete sportswomen,” promised the former Pakistan skipper and fixer par excellence.