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In an unexpected turn of events, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) had fallen short of gold required to prepare the medals to be given to the winners of various events. Things weren’t looking all that bright for the organisers due to insufficient funds. But there finally was light at the end of the tunnel. The light came from shining gold, gold that was donated by legendary Indian composer, Bappi Lahiri.
Jacques Rogge, president of the IOC, told reporters that the organisers never expected such an event. “We hadn’t allocated any funds for such an event as this wasn’t even part of our worst nightmares. The shortage of gold led to panic amongst the organising group as there was no way we could gather enough money to buy the required quantity of gold in such a short time”, added Rogge. “But timely intervention from Mr. Lahiri has saved the face of the London Olympics. We will remain grateful to him forever.”
On being asked as to why Bappi da donated the gold without any money in return, a senior official of the organising committee replied, “Mr. Lahiri never asked for money. He said he was ready to give us as much gold as required free of cost. In return he just wanted us to give him the 110m hurdles world record. He has achieved a time of 10.8 secs in a Google Doodle event, which is 2 seconds better than the current record of 12.87 seconds. He even sent us a screenshot as proof. There was no doubt regarding his claims and the IOC unanimously decided to give the record to him.”
The Unreal Times also learnt that another proposal had come from China where the money asked for was one-fourth the amount that would have been required to purchase the required gold at market value. There was a catch though as the proposal said that the substance provided would be “as close to gold as anything could ever be”. It also had a guarantee that no jeweler would be able to distinguish it from actual gold. However, the organizers didn’t seem too confident about the substance offered and hence decided against it.
Bappi da’s new world record, meanwhile, has sparked off celebrations in Kolkata and the rest of Bengal. The Chief Minister, Mamata Banerjee called a press conference and declared, “This is not just Bappi Da’s victory, this victory is of the people of Bengal. Eta Ma, Mati, Manusher joy (This is a victory of the people and the land of Bengal). Such records were never made when the CPI(M) was in power for 34 years. See the poriborton (change) that has taken place in just 15 months of Trinamool Congress rule. We will honour Bappi da by naming the next metro station after him.”
P.S. The author requests all readers to support him in case the West Bengal Government decides to put him behind bars.