Bangladeshi success in occupying Indian territory hailed by Pakistani establishment

Follow @TheUnRealTimes

On the eve of the 65^th anniversary of independence from British rule, Pakistani President Zardari hailed Bangladeshis for successfully occupying large swathes of Indian territory and advised the Pakistani military establishment to take a leaf out of their book.

“These Bangladeshis are awesome man. Without investing in nuclear weapons, without fomenting terrorism, without over-spending on defense, they have quietly gone about grabbing land in Assam. I am told entire districts like Dhubri are under their sway and that part of Assam is to be renamed Bangladesh occupied Assam (BoA). Respect,” remarked the Pakistani President during a seminar in Karachi on security in South Asia.

Even hardboiled Pakistani LeT terrorists are voicing the same sentiment. “I just don’t see the point anymore of waging war against Indian security forces to liberate Kashmir and other parts of India, yaar. My Bangladeshi friends tell me it’s easier to simply migrate en-mass across the border and occupy entire districts.  Apparently, we will be given voter-ids to vote regularly and can keep going to and fro across the border. Now isn’t that cool,” raved LeT operative, Mirza Ahmed Channa, who now plans to enter India via Bangladesh.

JuD chief Hafeez Saeed has conceded that Bangladeshi success in changing borders and demographics has led to a lot of heart-burn within the ranks. “The boys now want to occupy Indian territory the easy way and motivation for terrorism is dipping. Sigh, I might as well throw in the towel and immigrate to India and take up a career in politics,” disclosed the LeT chief.

In related news, Foreign Minister S M Krishna has assured his Pakistani counterpart that all the Pakistani Hindu families currently on religious pilgrimage to India will not be allowed to settle in India and will be repatriated to the land of their birth at the end of their visit. “I have assured Hina that only Bangladeshis and Pakistani freedom fighters, provided they eschew militancy, will be allowed to stay back in India but Pakistani Hindus will be sent back. It’s going to be a close election in 2014 and we don’t want Pakistani Hindus adversely affecting our chances, you see,” observed the venerable External Affairs Minister.

Related posts:

1. Hafiz Saeed arrested and convicted by Pakistani authorities for breaking traffic rules
2. Rahul Gandhi hailed for leading party to victory in Manipur, clamor to make him its CM
3. US offers Pakistani army generals mortgage refinancing to secure help in the war against terror
4. Pakistan Cricket Team thanks BCCI for barring Pakistani players from IPL
5. Indian buffalo strays across Indo-Pak border to mate with Pakistani buffalo; intercepted by Pak F16s