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Ever since the government limited the number of outgoing SMSes to 5 per day, people have become rather careful with their SMSes, using them only for conveying really important messages. The UnReal Times was able to gain access to some of the sent items of important personalities through its contacts in the Department of Telecom. Here are some of them:
1. To Baba Ramdev: Cud you please launch a rally against Coalgate?
2. To Sushmaji: Am taking all the NDA Rajya Sabha MPs to Ek tha Tiger after the Parliament is adjourned. Whats the scene at the Lower House?
3. To Advaniji: Heard you are planning a new blog post. Please let me know if I can add some inputs
4. To Nitinji: Advaniji is writing a new blog. Please check if it has any bombs. I have started spying already
5. To Ravi Shankar Prasad: In todays prime time debates on all news channels, this message must be clear, No LS, No RS, No JPC, but we want parliament to function
1. To Madamji: Yes Madam
2. To Madamji: Yes Madam
3. To Madamji: Yes Madam
4. To Madamji: You up for a joint reading session of Adam Smith’s wealth of nations tonight? Wud be fun!
5. To Madamji: Yes Madam
1. To PM: FDI Again? Coming to Delhi soon
2. To Derek: Only 5881 likes for my FB page and 800k for Bachchan in a single day. Cholbe noi. Please check if they are all Maoists.
3. To Mukul Roy: Need one passanger train from Kolkata to Siliguri ASAP. Awaiting response
4. To PM: I have not spoken my mind on Coalgate scam yet. Also package for Bengal is still to be approved
5. To XYZ Publishing House: I am planning my autobiography. Should be more popular than Mein Kampf. Please contact for further details by next week, else u r a Maoist
1. To Maananiya Advocate: If we endorse reservations in promotions, can I be promoted to Prime Minister quickly?
2. To Maananiya PM: Any formalities of CBI still pending? Please get them finished in monsoon session of parliament
3. To Maananiya Secretary: What happened to my exquisite handkerchief that was to come from Paris?
4. To Maananiya Anu Malik: Don’t understand your hunt for the Indian Idol. I have installed several Indian Idols all over UP. Why don’t you just pick one of them?
5. To Maananiya Kapil Sibal: SMS limit to 5 per day is gross injustice. I demand for Dalits,the limit must be increased to 10. I shall take up the matter in Parliament
1. To Rahul Baba: The first sunlight to touch your face is my whisper to GOD to take care of you and to make ur day a pleasant 1. GOOD MORNING
2. To Sushil Shinde: Come on Shindeji, you blamed Pak for NE exodus, when you should have blamed RSS!
3. To Kapil Sibal: Blocking twitter accts that parody Congress is fine, but my twitter account is no parody. I mean whatever I say. Pls unblock it.
4. To Beni Prasad Verma: Dude, are you trying to compete with me? Beware! I am unbeatable.
5. To Rahul Baba: Hello Moon, My friend is Going to Sleep. Tell sun to rise tomorrow late. Because my friend wants to relax more ****Good Night*****