Mulayam Singh Yadav to make Urdu commentary compulsory for the Indian Grand Prix


Soon after advocating Urdu as a compulsory subject in Uttar Pradesh government schools, Samajwadi Party chief Mulayam Singh Yadav has decided to enforce a rule that makes commentary in Urdu mandatory during the upcoming Indian Grand Prix as well.

The Grand Prix, scheduled to take place at the Buddh International Circuit in Greater Noida, UP, may very well be forced to comply with the law of the land if the SP supremo has his way. “UP has a lot of Muslims and they are sure to turn up in large numbers at the circuit, besides tuning into their television sets. In such a scenario, it is only fair that commentary be made available to them in their mother tongue, so that they are treated with respect and equality,” reasoned Mulayam.

ESPNStar’s Formula One commentary team comprising Steve Slater and Chris Goodwin, bemused by the rule, said, “Well, we don’t know what to say about how it will all work out. It’s gonna be interesting – we’ll be having Javed Akhtar and Gulzar saab sitting beside us, translating our commentary to Urdu, so there may be a delay of a costly pit-stop between the English commentary and the Urdu version. Moreover, these guys are bound to make their commentary poetic, with a lot of… what do you call those… shaayrees and stuff! Plus, we’ve heard that Javed hates the Kolaveri song. So we’ve gotta see to it that the song isn’t played within the premises.”

The move has come in for heavy criticism from the BSP with chief Mayawati lashing out, “Is there anything at all for Dalits in this Grand Prix? I will not rest until one of my statues is erected in the circuit – if not near the finish line, at least near the beginning of the Pit lane.” The Congress party too has been scathing in its response, demanding that the Grand Prix be renamed “The Rajiv Gandhi Indian Grand Prix”.

However, Slater expressed confidence that the rule would be rolled back soon. “Dude, it’s Mulayam’s word after all – shouldn’t hold for more than a day,” Slater said.

Ashwin Kumar

About Ashwin Kumar

1 of the proud columnists of URT, former co-editor of URT Tamil, amateur musician, Real Harris Jayaraj devotee, UnReal T. Rajendar fanatic, passionate about stopping female foeticide.

  • Chakku

    I usually say,”satire at its best,” when I read such articles. But this time, I’ll simply say,” Quintessential Ashwin.” ’nuff said.

    • Ashwin

      thanks a lot :)

  • Dumpaki Saikia

    A biting satire on accent of politics in India’s most popolous state. Must read for followers of Indian politics. Mr. Ashwin, once again, has turned in a sparkling piece, cementing his reputation as chutli bhojjak (sparkling wit in Assamese), a veritable rajkumarak thodiya (the heir apparent to the kingdom of satire)

    • Ashwin

      Thank you so much :)

  • Circe

    Nice satire, but actually MSY might have finally said a sensible thing in a long time. Most schools (Govt. or otherwise) use Sanskrit as the compulsory third language in classes 5-8. Now that would be fine, if only they did a decent job of teaching a language (which they don’t). Replacing Sanskrit by Urdu might be a much better idea because a) it is easier to learn for Hindi speakers: they just need to learn a new script b) it is easier to practice, since most UPites understand spoken Urdu fairly well anyway

    • Ashwin

      thanks :) ..and also, thanks for the info…I never knew all this! The news report, based on which I wrote this, is mainly portraying it as a votebank move

  • Sandeep

    Congrats Ashwin! Your 100th post came sooner than Sachin’s 100th century! Keep up the good work!

    • Ashwin

      thank u ! :)