“Why don’t people ask how much Yuvi spent on his cancer treatment abroad?” Sonia blasts detractors

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Breaking her silence on the scurrilous speculation about her having spent Rs. 1,880 crore from the public exchequer for her foreign trips, mostly for medical treatment in the US, Congress President Sonia Gandhi finally shed her defensive mentality to slog-sweep away such allegations by posing the following question to her detractors: “Why the hell don’t people ask Yuvi the same question: How much he spent for his cancer treatment in the US?”

“It sucks, man,” she continued in an exclusive interview to The Unreal Times, “when it comes to Yuvi, people want to know stuff like whether he has recovered, is he completely fit to help India lift the cup, but when it comes to my treatment and subsequent recuperation, the only question on some people’s minds is the amount I spent. No one wants to know whether I have fully recovered and how is my form going into the 2014 World Cup where I hope to lead my team to victory. Totally unfair, yaa!”

The Congress President went on to point out how Yuvi has become a royal pain in the a**. “It’s bad enough that because of him, the real yuvraj, my darling Rahul baba, invariably gets relegated to the sidelines. What’s worse is that Yuvraj Singh, instead of being opaque and evasive about his cancer treatment like yours truly, was completely transparent and leveled with the people. Heck man, is that how a public figure behaves?”

The Congress President said she has also been tracking Janta Party President Dr. Subramanian Swamy’s tweets about her family using the handle @deshkibahu. “First, he used to call me Vishkanya, now Tadakka. I’m still waiting for Janardhan Dwivedi to translate those words for me so that I can take appropriate action. I’m ok with Swamy calling Rahul ‘Buddhu’, though. That means enlightened one, I’m told, though I’m not sure why Swamy thinks so,” she pensively observed.

The Nehru-Gandhi bahu refused to reveal how much she actually spent from the public exchequer for her foreign trips. “Dude, that’s why I created the RTI Act. File an RTI application, wait for 30 days, then file an appeal in case you don’t get a reply, then escalate it to the Chief Information Commissioner, and if it gets past all that bureaucratic rigmarole, my minions will do the math to determine how much I spent from my own pocket and how much from the public exchequer for my medical treatment abroad.”

“And no, I ain’t gonna tell you what I was treated for. Even RTI Act will not let you know that answer to that because even I don’t know what I was treated for,” she trailed off.

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