Leaders who made controversial remarks on women to feature in “Kya Aap Paanchvi Pass se tez hain?”

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Shri Om Prakash Chautala on the sets of KAPPSTH

A number of Indian politicians who made controversial remarks against women in the recent past, have been invited to feature in a special episode of the game show “Kya aap paanchvi pass se tez hain?“, the Indian equivalent of “Are you smarter than a 5th grader?”. The show, hosted by Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan was last seen 4 years ago. However, given the recent spate of dismal remarks by Indian politicians, producer Siddharth Basu and Star India have found new ground to resurrect the show. King Khan has also given his nod. “I’m crestfallen over the demise of Yash ji yaar. I could do with some comedy to cheer me up,” the superstar is supposed to have said.

“It’s like an oasis in a desert, man! For a while, shows like Bigg Boss, Roadies, Splitsvilla and others succeeded in kicking us out, by having the same kinda moronic participants as the ones on our show. The only difference was that those 2 shows portray them as heroic instead of the stupids we show them to be. So all the fools flocked to such shows and we hardly had any interesting folks coming to us. But now, we’ve found a new participant base in Indian politics – it is the perfect one, as these politicians aren’t ashamed of their incredible stupidity even a wee bit. I’m sure that the show will do very well again! I just can’t wait to restart it,” said an animated Basu.

A Haryana Khap panchayat member has agreed to come on the show, as, according to him, it would do him a load of good to find an intelligent 5th grade boy to marry his 8-year old daughter, thereby bestowing her with life immunity against rape. Another one has accepted the invitation on the strict condition that there be no chowmein served on the sets. Former Haryana CM Om Prakash Chautala too, will be on board to participate in the show, after which he will conduct a seminar for the kids on the importance of child marriage. An invitation was sent to Beni Prasad Verma too, but the Union Steel Minister has denied the invite, citing that INR 5 crore was too low a prize amount and he’d have been more serious if it were INR 5 lakh crore.

A key guest expected on the show is West Bengal Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee, who holds a good equation with SRK, after they danced together in the highly extravagant celebration of Kolkata Knight Riders’ IPL victory at Eden Gardens. SRK has already instructed boys and girls on the set not to interact with each other freely. “I think I might also need to prepare myself to be called a Maoist, given that I’m the quiz-master,” said Khan, reportedly.

BSP MLA Rajpal Saini too has confirmed his willingness to participate, as long as women and children are forbidden from using mobiles on the sets. Also willing to participate is Coal Minister Sriprakash Jaiswal, who cautioned that while he is interested in participating, he wouldn’t be happy for long in the event he wins the show. “Winning such shows is like having old wives, yaar! The charm just fades after a while,” Jaiswal said, following which the organizers decided to deny him a spot.

When asked about what becomes of Congress General secretary Divijaya Singh, who is considered by people all over the nation as the most appropriate politician to participate in the show, Basu said, “Oh, he’ll walk in as a participant any day in our show, only not this one! We will have him in our junior edition, ‘Kya Aap UKG pass se tez hain?’“

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