Shahid Afridi’s birth certificate discovered in an archaeological dig at Mohenjo-daro


Mankind is a step closer to determining the precise age of Pakistan cricketer, Shahid Afridi, after archaeologists stumbled upon his birth certificate during an ongoing excavation at Mohenjo-daro. The document confirms what cricket pundits have suspected for a long time: that the mercurial Pathan is at least 4000 years old.

Shahid himself bashfully acknowledged his ancient vintage, nostalgically recalling his idyllic days as a kid frolicking about in the by-lanes of Mohenjo-daro, then easily the leading city of the sub-continent. “Civic amenities were much better then – well planned streets, public baths, efficient sewage and garbage disposal,” wistfully noted Afridi.

Of course, the Brits hadn’t civilized yet and were clubbing each other to death in that era and young Afridi would have to wait a bit for his cricketing debut. He did model for the odd assignment, including posing for the bust of Mohenjo-daro, before the city was razed to the ground by marauding, horse mounted Aryan warriors, stooping down from what was even then considered the wild, lawless, north-west frontier. “That was a chaotic phase. Break-down of law and order, erosion of civilized values, rampant extremism, brigandage…conditions quite similar to what many parts of Pakistan are grappling with now,” he observed with sadness.

The invasions induced young Afridi to migrate to the ‘Wild West’ and set up base around the Khyber Pass to take up a career as a frontiersman. A relatively uneventful life of obscurity followed, before the flamboyant cricketer shot to fame with his sensational cricketing debut at the ripe old age of 16 against Sri Lanka in 1996 AD.

Historians contend that the dashing all-rounder now holds the key to their unlocking mysteries of that hoary, pre-Vedic age, including the hitherto undeciphered Indus Valley script. This of course means that they are not anywhere closer to doing so.

(Inspired by this What Ho! tweet)

UnReal Mama

About UnReal Mama

Ek chatur naar badee hoshiyaar, apane hee jaal me phasat jaat ham hasat jaat are ho ho ho ho ho!

  • Theultimatechennaisuperkingsfan

    Dear inspired by whatho tweet…
    U hav proved beyond doubt that satire is the only thing which mixes with cricket-bollywood-politics…as seamlessly as unreal times does..after CSK and INDIA, my 3rd fav team is PAKISTAN..:D

  • Sumit Sickwal

    Nice pose for the bust of mohenjo-daro :D

  • Jitendra Desai

    This is adding to the controversy that has been raging in SWAT valley about the ancientness of this great tribesman.
    As per established theory, accepted by Tehrike Insaaf party of Imran Khan,Pakistan Muslim League [ various factions],PPP and even Mullah Omar, Afridi actually arrived along with Bin Qasim from Arabia in the 8th century Sindh.

    • Unreal Mama

      haha nice addition, JD

  • Ashish

    Such a nice and witty article, very well written.. seamlessly integrated from ancient times to ripe old age of 16 in 1996 AD … haa haa..