Rahul discharges arrow at Digvijay Singh’s rear on Dussehra
Congress General Secretary Digvijay Singh had a narrow escape late Wednesday evening when his protege and co-General Secretary Rahul Gandhi shot him with an arrow. The incident occurred during Dussehra celebrations at 10, Janpath hosted by Congress President and UPA Chairperson Sonia Gandhi. According to sources who did not wish to be named, Rahul was “playing around” with a bow and arrow that had been gifted to him by a Youth Congress leader from Amethi when, without warning, he discharged an arrow in the direction of his mentor Digvijay Singh who was at that moment in deep conversation with Sonia and had his back turned to Rahul.
Fortunately for Singh, the arrow lodged itself in what the sources politely describe as ‘a fleshy portion of his anatomy’, and did not cause any major injury. Singh was rushed to RML Hospital where doctors removed the arrow and discharged the Congress veteran after minor first aid. While senior Congress leaders remain tight-lipped about the incident, doctors at RML Hospital were more forthcoming. “Mr Singh was cheerful throughout the procedure,” said Dr Komal Butt, senior surgeon who helped remove the arrow. “He is remarkably thick skinned, and this saved him from a possibly painful and more serious injury. We have advised him to wear thick trousers and use soft cushions for two weeks; he should be fine!”
Congress spokesperson Manish Tewari created a fresh controversy on Thursday morning while angrily refuting charges by BJP leaders that Rahul Gandhi ‘deliberately shot’ Digvijay Singh with an arrow to make a larger point. “These communally coloured charges are malicious and typical of the BJP, which has never reconciled itself to losing the 2004 and 2009 elections. The shooting incident was an unfortunate accident. I would like to inform the BJP that anyone who knows Rahulji knows that he is an excellent marksman. As such, if Rahulji had chosen to shoot Digvijayji deliberately as is being alleged, he (Rahul) would have hit the bullseye.”
Rahul laughed off the incident. “I meant to take aim at the Ravan effigy but somehow the bow swerved in the direction of Diggyji. Oh well, 99% of my arrows hit their target but in 1% of the cases, they are way off the mark,” shrugged the Nehru-Gandhi scion.
Digvijay had only words of praise for his ward, saying this incident should dispel any lingering doubts in people’s minds as to whether Rahul is fit to lead the country.
Post Script: Minutes after uploading this so called news report, readers flooded The Unreal Times‘ inbox with angry emails, accusing us of resorting to cheap headlines to counter a non-newsy week where Arvind Kejriwal disappointed satirists and readers alike without a single expose. Our reply to irate readers is: we’ll be fair to Diggy in our pieces on him, the day he’s fair in his comments about everything under the sun. In other words, never. :P
Related posts:
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- Digvijay Singh to enter Bigg Boss’ house
- “Manmohan Singh is the night watchman, real batting star Rahul yet to come”: Digvijay Singh’s new bouncer
- Digvijay Singh now irks Congress high command
- “I am scared of being slapped with a shoe” Digvijay Singh’s exclusive interview to The Unreal Times
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10 Responses to Rahul discharges arrow at Digvijay Singh’s rear on Dussehra
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Must admit, I frowned a little at the headline, but the article gradually pulled me in. The end is just brilliant. Kudos Mani :D
Lokesh Bahety
October 25, 2012 at 9:58 am
Excellent piece Mani !!! A superbly worded post with carefully chosen words. I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Vijayan
October 25, 2012 at 11:10 am
Good one mani sir/da/friend…
Those phrases with the apostrophes were excellent…….. But i feel that u missed out on diggy blaming d rss without turning behind……..waitin 4 ur next one…
Theultimatechennaisuperkingsfan
October 25, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Dear mani….
Lmao….
Keep dem coming..
Did RML stand for rajiv memorial….or something like that??
Brawn, brain and sane
October 25, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Thanks for the kind words, all!
Brawn Brain and Sane: RML stands for Ram Manohar Lohia (not Rajiv Memorial). Provoking idea, though: perhaps it’s only a matter of time before the name is changed to reflect the glory of the Dynasty…whereupon CR Park will become Chiranjeevi Rahul Park, South Extension (SE) becomes Sonia Enclave, and Vasant Vihar (VV) blossoms into Vadra Vatika! :D
mani
October 26, 2012 at 6:25 am
When last heard Congress was contemplating CBI raids on UnRealtimes’ real premises to unearth the proof of this rather embarrassing episode that did take place but was supposed to be kept under wraps.As correctly reported by UnReal Times,Rahul seldom misses his targets.But when he does, it has to be turned in to a state secret.
As per Seva Dal sources,the reported injury to the greatest secular Congress leader in the unreportable part, was causing him trouble physically settling down or lying down on his back.
Jitendra Desai
October 25, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Dear mani,
obviously u have broached a slightly awkward topic…..and u hav managed to pull this off with great care….
Infact when my maiden article got rejected,unreal times took d pain to make me understand the fine line dividing satire and provoking literature………
The way u kept ur article simple and humoring will surely inspire/educate me in authoring my future aricles…….
For me, now the editor of ut commands very high respect…………and yes mani,currently i do comment on ut using 6 different names…….
Dear admin, i hope u have noticed my improvement here………bye man(i)..:D
Sovientsocialistdemocraticrepublicmangoman
October 25, 2012 at 6:01 pm
komal butt…hehehe
giri nayak
October 26, 2012 at 4:55 am
True that mani da……
I must say that the GANDHI surname has come to great use with most people assuming that they r related to mk gandhi………….pls dont go overboard with this comment……
Though it may come as a surprise,
sovientsocialistdemocraticrepublicmangoman and theultimatechennaisuperkingsfan are 2 of my remaining 5 alteregos,with the main one being the latter………i will surely comment on ur next article using one of my other three alter egos….and i challenge u to recognise me……………:D:D…i hav made a new friend now….
brawn, brain and sane
October 26, 2012 at 6:48 am
Very good.
When Manish Tiwari speaks, he uses at least 2 or 3 therefore. So you could have included that as well.
ponic
October 31, 2012 at 12:43 pm