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Alarmed by news of reports of 26/11 terror convict, Ajmal Kasab, suffering from Dengue like symptoms, Islamabad has offered full assistance and co-operation to Indian authorities in containing the spread of vector-borne disease. Explaining the strategic rationale behind Pakistan’s seemingly paradoxical move, General Kayani said that they now consider the Dengue virus to pose a bigger existential threat to Pakistan than even India. “We completely get it this time. We need to tackle the Dengue virus so that we can be in a position to tackle India,” grimly noted the Pakistan Army Chief.
Dengue cases are being reported all across the country, with over 900 cases registered in the last month alone in the capital. The epidemic has not even spared the well-heeled, with Rahul Dravid’s wife getting admitted for Dengue symptoms and Yash Chopra succumbing to the virus recently.
“It was bad enough that Dengue got to Yash Chopra. Even we enjoy his candy floss movies to let off steam after planning terrorist attacks in India. But when we heard that Kasab is also suffering from Dengue, we realized that this is a serious crisis,” he added pensively.
His lieutenant and former ISI chief, General Pasha, seconded him. “Morale is very down these days. Boys are no longer interested in crossing over to India to have a blast. They say they would rather go to FATA to get slaughtered by the bad Taliban or get bombed by US drones than going to India and contracting Dengue. If the Indians don’t get their act together in controlling the spread of this virus, I’m afraid the ISI will go out of business soon.”
LeT chief, Hafiz Saeed, has now appealed to his boys to suspend attacks against Indian forces and instead focus on helping the Indian authorities contain the epidemic. In a hate-filled tirade directed against the Aedes mosquito, the carrier of the dreaded Dengue Virus, the JuD chief thundered, “We will target all the stagnant pools in India where these infidels reside. Don’t spare a single one of these execrable blood-sucking creatures. We will bring them all down to their knees.”
The ISI has also promised that unlike in the case of ongoing insurgency in Afghanistan, they won’t distinguish between good mosquitoes and bad Aedes mosquitoes in the war against Dengue. “No double games this time around, we promise,” said General Pasha.