With Chinese exports continuing to falter in the face of weakening global demand – the American economic recovery remains sluggish and could even fall off the approaching fiscal cliff while the eurozone has spiraled into recession yet again – Beijing has embarked on a radical, economic transformation to sustain double digit growth: China will now consume most of its output rather than export it to the developed economies.
Explaining the rationale behind the ‘having your own cake and eating it too’ policy, new Chinese Premier, Xi Jinping, told The Unreal Times: “We can’t wait interminably for the Americans to get back to their high spending ways. If they no longer want our gaudy plastic toys, cheap but unreliable electronic gadgets, and other superflous merchandise, then we’ll consume it ourselves and continue to grow our GDP.”
The Chinese premier added that the Chinese were tired of slogging for the rest of the world but only earning brickbats in return. “Our boys slog their butt off working 18 hours shifts so that Americans can enjoy drop dead retail prices and in return we get labelled as job stealers and currency manipulators. We don’t have to put up with such nonsense any longer,” ruefully added Xi, bitterness creeping into his tone.
In keeping with the new policy, Chinese workers have been ordered to work an extra shift everyday consuming China’s manufacturing output, while the Chinese Central Bank has burned its huge pile of dollar reserves and American bonds.
However, it remains to be seen whether the Chinese government can get the labour force to accept the new set of economic reforms. “We are cool with being over-worked and under-paid, but forcing us to consume our own cheap stuff rather than flooding overseas markets is just not on. We’ll fight it tooth and nail,” warned Yang Yang, a factory worker in Guangzhou province, echoing the sentiments of millions of disgruntled Chinese workers across the country.