Cheteshwar Pujara retires from Test Cricket; Pressure mounts on Sachin


In a bid to pressurize Sachin Tendulkar to announce his retirement, BCCI has asked Cheteshwar Pujara to retire from the longer form of the game, citing precipitous decline in form: the lad has averaged only 11 in his last two innings, prompting the far-sighted selectors to axe him and send a hidden message.

Shedding further light on the incident, Rajeev Shukla said, “Sachin is like god in India. Nobody has the guts to tell him to go. So we thought of sending the Little Master an indirect message. Hopefully he gets the point (sic).” The BCCI could have axed Yuvi or even Dhoni instead but then that would not have had any shock value, he clarified. “Their form has been worse than Sachin’s so what use that will be?” he reasoned.

Meanwhile the Pujara household is not happy about this move. A relative, speaking on grounds of anonymity, grumbled, “Even the cement has not dried and the BCCI has broken the Wall. Cheteshwar has been sacrificed in the politics between BCCI and Sachin.”

In a related move, the BCCI has appointed Anna Hazare as chief selector of the cricket team. “The problem is that the current selectors, like Binny and Patil, simply don’t have the stature to tell Sachin to retire. So we have brought in Anna who has the respect of the whole country. The only issue is that we have to also hire Kiran Bedi along with Anna,” explained N Srinivasan.

The other option in front of BCCI is asking Sachin Pilot to tell Tendulkar to go. This is to counter all the cricket commentators and pundits who keep saying ‘Only Sachin will decide when Sachin has to go’. BCCI is clearly leaving no stone unturned in its quest.

When The Unreal Times asked a BCCI official on what their plan is to make up for the loss of Sachin in the Indian middle order, given that the master once again demonstrated his superiority over the so-called young blood with a top score of 76 in the 1st innings of the 3rd Test against England, the official replied that they’ve been too busy drawing up strategies to get Sachin to retire, and hadn’t had the time to think about the Indian batting line up as yet.

Mad Scientist

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  • subramanym

    Good job…but timing isn’t right…Sachin has once again proven that he is still better than any other so called young blood in the team…

  • Venkat


  • Arpita Nandi

    Maybe Rajni should try asking Sachin to retire… Just saying!!

  • Theultimatechennaisuperkingsfan

    What an idea!!

  • Lokesh Bahety

    The Sachin Pilot part really gave this piece a flight. Good one there :)