Mapping key Indian politicians, parties to computer keyboard functions: A beginner’s guide

Follow @TheUnRealTimes

With an intriguing build that consists of the most complex of internal circuits, snugly fit ‘nuts’ and bolts and reactions wired to precision, the Indian political system stands beyond explanation. But as has been our wont at The Unreal Times, we take a dig at the inexplicable for the edification of our readers. Here’s explaining the Indian political system with the parallel it draws from the functionalities of a computer, as we key-in one leader after another.

Ctrl + Z: Mamata Banerjee

The ‘Un-do’ button of Indian politics; she asks for a rollback first and figures out what it was for next. Whenever the government with a false sense of hope gets something done, she makes sure status-quo is restored.

F1: Mayawati

She’s UPA’s eternal ‘Help’ button. Only a click away from a rescue operation; be it the nuclear deal or the FDI; this key always stays true to its function.

Alt + Tab: Mulayam Singh

The toggle button in the system, this SP leader has justified his spot like no other. Showing one window one instant, and effortlessly switching it the next is an expertise he has acquired through years of practice.

Windows + D: Meira Kumar

Whenever the banging on the desk-tops in the parliament gets too loud, this lady with the “Baithjaayein” drones – honed for years – brings sanity back to the screen. Whenever the clutter becomes too much to handle, count on her for the clean up.

Ctrl+Alt+Del: Shiv Sena

Probably the most dangerous combination on the keyboard, this is to be dealt with only under emergency situations, since a ‘shutdown’ is eminent if pressed wrong. However, if dealt with the right way, it will leave you alone without any damage.

F5:Laloo Prasad Yadav

Even the most sedate of circumstances can shape into a laugh riot with just a couple of clicks from the Bihar biggie. Fittingly the ‘refresh’ button in the political landscape.

(A customized version in Pakistan has Laloo replaced with Hina Rabbani Khar)

Caps Lock: Salman Khurshid

Both, his media appearances in the capital, and media appearance in capitals (AA TO GAYE, PAR JAAOGE KAISE) make him the front contender for the Caps Lock key.

Home: Rahul Gandhi.

The key that brings you to the top of the page – irrespective of where you start from- rightly belongs to the Prince of Indian politics. Some customized versions have replaced ‘Home’ with ‘A dalit’s home’

Ctrl: Sonia Gandhi

As simply coupling this key with any other can greatly influence its function and behavior.

Space:  ManMohan Singh

Related posts:

1. Transcript: Indian politicians debate how to save the Test match against England
2. “Counter-strike” makers to launch new computer game, “Counter-sting”, based on Jindal-Zee TV faceoff
3. Similarities between leading Indian cricketers and politicians
4. Parties demand reservation in KBC; want special session of Parliament to pass bill
5. Apple customizes iPads to suit the needs of political parties