After the exciting T20 encounter between India and Pakistan, cricket fans across the nation had much more than just India’s victory to celebrate, as another news of gigantic proportions rocked the fraternity. Santa came a little late to the Indian fans but gifted them generously as the Pakistan cheerleader cum commentator Rameez Raja lost his speech, unable to bear the trauma of his team’s loss.
Our UnReal Times cricket correspondent Badtameez Baja was present first hand at the scene, when Raja – who had been pompous beyond his usual self – suddenly collapsed into his seat at the end of the match. Though he quickly revived after Shastri reeling out a quick fire line of clichés right into his ears, all he could manage was a shriek when trying to express his disbelief. At the revelation, Shastri wasted no time in sneaking in a ‘Cricket is a great leveller’ to contrast the Pakistani’s two states.
Earlier during the match, Rameez had been supporting his team with school-girl school-boy like excitement, before Dinda turned things around, sealing the ex-cricketer’s lips, much to the elation of all Indian fans.
“I had to watch half of the match on mute when Raja was blabbering. He doesn’t just get on your nerves, but stomps on them repeatedly,” whined a cricket enthusiast, before adding, “I don’t know what got to me after listening to him, but I took a shot at the TV with my remote. Missed just by a whisker!”
The heads from the commentary box shared the same sentiments. “Even Sunny bhai and I are biased commentators, but at least we don’t jump out of our seats every time a boundary is scored,” shared a disappointed Ravi Shastri.
Cricketers apart, even actors couldn’t resist commenting on the commentator. ‘He really was in some flow today. Some of the sounds he made in his excitement put even me to shame,” candidly admitted adult movie star Sunny Leone.
The Congress blamed Raja’s irrational commentary entirely on Narendra Modi’s presence at the ground. “Everyone knows NaMo has a knack of getting people worked up without a reason. Clearly, Raja’s support towards his players was communal and came from Modi’s vibes,” explained Abhishek Manu Singhvi.
Abhijeet Mukherjee further added to the fire calling the Gujarat CM a dented and painted cricket fan. ‘I have seen Chief Ministers of states, and trust me he doesn’t look like one of them. CMs never come out of cricket grounds,” argued the Rashtrabeta, before briskly withdrawing his statement in the same breath.
Meanwhile, Shinde shot off a letter to Rehman Malik saying, “Dinda tell you we would get Hafeez!” At the time of publishing this piece, the Pakistani authorities were still scratching their heads trying to figure out the pun in Shinde’s letter.