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In a country filled with “personalities,” it’s always tough to pick the Person of the Year. It’s been a week of furious debates at the URT headquarters. Much alcohol was consumed, names bandied about, nominations put forward and passionate arguments made in favor of nominees. After much deliberation during drunken stupor, we narrowed the search down to two. The tragedy of life is that there can be only one winner. Or that’s what we’d like you to believe.
We’re proud to announce that the Person of the Year for 2012 goes to the one and only Abhishek Manu Singhvi.
Sorry Mayans that you finished runners up. It might have helped to get your predictions right. But don’t worry, guys. Getting a prediction wrong here and there is not the end of the world. We wish you the best for your next calendar.
Mr. Singhvi, as readers may recall, made many notable contributions in 2012 in his capacity as the Congress party spokesperson. None more notable than the video which he unwittingly and allegedly starred in along with a lady friend, shot courtesy of his driver. A poll done by URT, in the aftermath of the expose, revealed that 49 percent of Indians felt that Mr. Singhvi should vacate his seat, while 51 percent opined that the seat should be disinfected first.
Further, in recognition of his unmatched contributions to the cause of satire and comedy in India, UnReal Times University is proud to confer an honorary doctored CD on Mr. Singhvi. Congratulations, sir. We sincerely look forward to more “outstanding” work from you in 2013.
For our readers, here’s the Thank You letter we received from Mr. Singhvi.
Dear UnReal team,
I’m not sure if I should appreciate the fact that you’ve been taking great pleasure in tracking my every move and milking it for everything it’s been worth and much more. 2012 was a tough year for me. Not coincidentally, it seems to have turned out to have been a fantastic year for you guys. Although it was a year of great challenges, you can’t deny that I showed that I could stand firm. I may have violated my obligations to my wife and family. I may have even violated a sense of right and wrong. But you’ve got to admit that I did bring the law to its knees, one woman at a time.
To whom much is given, much is expected. Which, by the way, is what I heard from the lady in the film that some of you guys seem to have enjoyed so much. I humbly affirm that I will to do my best to keep it up. Err, scratch that. It didn’t turn out quite the way I wanted it to.
Never mind, guys. I appreciate this great honor bestowed upon me by one of the best satire teams in business. All I ask in return is, “Please don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile with your pants around the ankles.”
(Srini Chandra is the author of the spiritual bestseller ‘3 lives‘)