Zuckerburg postpones launch of FB Graph Search after it fails to answer “Where is Rahul Gandhi?”


In a major embarrassment to premier social networking site Facebook, founder Mark Zuckerburg has postponed the launch of the social networking giant’s latest offering “Graph Search” indefinitely, thanks to a critical customer bug detected by Janata Party President Dr.Subramanian Swamy. Facebook had earlier raised expectations and suspense all over the world with its announcement that it was about to unveil a new Facebook feature.

Dr.Swamy shot off the following letter to Zuckerburg:

“Yo Mark. You have announced a new feature called Graph Search which is supposed to give the details, activities and whereabouts of any person I search. My PTs and I typed the query ‘Where is Buddhu?’ and your tool did not return any results at all. Even Google, Bing and Yahoo returned some results, saying that he was last seen at a Dalit’s home having lunch and at a vegetable market in Gujarat, bargaining for potatoes to be sold at Rs.3 and so on. Your product should incorporate all this, man!”

To be fair to Zuckerberg, Congress insiders are also mostly clueless about the Nehru-Gandhi scion’s whereabouts. “It would be really handy if the Zuckerberg can improve his tool. We are all wondering where the Rahul baba is when parliament is in the session (sic),” disclosed Parliament Affairs Minister, Rajiv Shukla. Even 10, Janpath, which sometimes remains in the dark as to where Rahul has jetted off to especially during a raging crisis, has requested Zuckerberg to improve his search algorithm’s functionality.

The Graph Search’s inferior performance has come as a severe blow to Facebook’s engineers. Zuckerberg said, “Well, it would be fair to say that we were a bit over-ambitious about this one. So much of hard work has gone into it, you know. Every person’s whereabouts, city of residence, current location, favorite restaurant, favorite cinema screen, favorite shopping mall was well-stored and the tool did exceptionally well in grouping people with similar interests. However, its impossible to track a guy who never frequents Facebook, is surrounded by sycophants, and slips off into the rural hinterland where there is no connectivity.

So I hereby announce that Graph Search’s launch has been postponed indefinitely, as it requires quite a bit of reworking. Also Dr.Swamy, it would be great if you could email me your complete list of code-words and acronyms for people. Wonder what you call me!”

Ashwin Kumar

About Ashwin Kumar

1 of the proud columnists of URT, former co-editor of URT Tamil, amateur musician, Real Harris Jayaraj devotee, UnReal T. Rajendar fanatic, passionate about stopping female foeticide.

  • Tejaswi K.R

    Rahul Gandhi is perhaps busy preparing a list of RSS agents who were involved in the beheading of Indian soldiers or busy getting ready to “take over the country”, mostly under the guidance of his mentor, Mr Digvijay Singh, after considering the statements of Ms Hina Rabbani Khar issued in New York.

    PERFECT satirical story to be associated with Rahul Gandhi. Great work da! :)

    • Ashwin

      thanks da :)

  • Lokesh Bahety

    Funny to the core Ashwin. Loved the letter and the ending para.

    • Ashwin

      hehe ..thanks man :)

  • ashwairya bhaccha

    goooooooooooooooood onnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee