Hafiz Saeed writes love letter to Home Minister Shinde, promises to confer Nishan-e-Pakistan on him

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Heartened by Home Minister Shinde’s remarks on RSS and BJP promoting “Hindu terrorism” through their training camps, JuD amir, Hafiz Saeed shot off an email to Home Minister Shinde, which The Unreal Times managed to access through an RTI. The content, translated from chaste Urdu, is as follows:

Dear Siri Sri Shi Shriman Shinde saheb,

Subject: I love you

Initially I wrote you off as another RAW agent but how mistaken I was. As far as I am concerned, you are our man in New Delhi.

I was initially veering towards befriending Diggy Raja but you sir are miles ahead of him in making loony, nonsensical statements and hence our wavelengths match. I have also come to know that you are highly cultured and always refer to me with even more respect than even what the Pakistani government accords to me. So please accept my hand of friendship (and also friend request on Facebook).

We were planning to spend over Rs.1 crore on anti-India propaganda but that one gem of a statement of yours has obviated the need for that. It will be of some satisfaction to you that we have instead diverted the money towards training and recruitment. For that alone, you deserve the Nishan-e-Pakistan, Pakistan’s highest civilian award. I’ve instructed my man, General Kayani, to initiate the process in this regard.

Shinde saheb, now it is imperative that we join forces and convince the world about the dangers posed to the world by Hindu terrorism and the existential threat to Pakistan from India. Let me assure you that Pakistan will do its best to counter fire with fire. It would be great if you make more such statements so that we can pull our troops from the Af-Pak quagmire to where they belong: the Indo-Pak border.

On a personal note, begum and I look forward to hosting you at Muridke soon. You must visit our training camps too to learn of the steps we are taking to screw your nation defend ourselves.

Yours affectionately,
Hafeez

PS: Two of my boys are coming over to Delhi to carry out some er… missions. Can they stay over at your cozy Lutyens bungalow? The thing is, with runaway inflation in your country, ISI is finding it difficult to print Indian currency and rental rates in Delhi are so high (again the damned inflation). I know this is a bit much but I feel I can count on your support.

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