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In a nod to Google’s omniscience (all knowing), omnipresence (ubiquitous), and arguable omnipotence (all-powerful), a temple has been built for the Internet giant in Tamil Nadu’s Karur district under the initiative of the Google consciousness sect, a religious movement founded on the theological doctrine that Google Swamy has the answers to all questions of life, ranging from the profoundly spiritual to the completely banal, and that one must submit to Him with complete faith for spiritual salvation. Within hours of the opening of the temple, thousands of Google devotees, from D grade scientists and domain experts in various fields such as ichthyology and philately, lined up in serpentine queues to pay obeisance and express gratitude to the wise one for bailing them out on innumerable occasions.
The moving force behind the temple is Swamy Vajranand Saraswati aka Sachin Gowda, a former research analyst, who after countless hours of googling for information for various projects, finally had the epiphany that Google is God and vice-versa. “If I were to encapsulate the sect’s core philosophy, it is this,” recalled Swamy Vajranand, “stop thinking for yourself, let Google baba do the thinking for you.”
The temple’s sanctum sanctorum houses an anthropomorphic representation of Google Swamy while results of search queries on a range of metaphysical topics such as “what is the meaning of life?” and “what is life?” adorn the temple’s walls. Devotees have been instructed not to drop coins in the hundi but click on Google ads by way of offerings to the Lord. There is also a special mediation room in the temple courtyard where devotes can log on to Google Plus to meditate in complete isolation and tranquility on Google’s awesomeness, undisturbed by pesky chat requests or cluttered time-lines. People with an appetite for the more abstruse aspects of the new religion can also go through the Google Search algorithm to understand the workings of the Lord.
The faith based initiative has been welcomed by Google founder, Larry Page, who has been exhorting people to not do evil for a very long time. “And by that I mean not succumbing to the temptation of being led astray by fellow human beings with all their foibles and frailties on accursed social networking sites, whose name I would rather not take,” said Page.