In an interesting development, doctors all over the country are up in arms against former cricketer turned ace commentator Ravi Shastri. Their contention is that they have never ordered what Ravi Shastri over the years has been claiming they did.
But why this sudden hullabaloo? “Because, we’ve had it,” said Dr. Karan Kurkure, a general physician from Bangalore at the forefront of agitations against the 1984 Champion of Champions. “This man has made our lives miserable. Whenever the Indian team wins, we have no problem. But, when they lose a match commented-on by Ravi Shastri, we somehow become the targets for fans to vent their ire against. In fact, during the recent matches which India lost, one of my patients kept pestering me by repeatedly asking ‘What the hell did you order?’”
While we couldn’t get a comment from the man in the middle of this new controversy, a friend close to Shastri said, “He was pretty unperturbed initially. But, as the day passed by, he began feeling sick. His doctor has ordered him to be on complete bed rest, and also to stop using the phrase that has put him in this condition.”
Niveditha No-ball, a die-hard cricket fan, and ardent admirer of Ravi Shastri, reacted emotionally to the protests against her idol. “This is a conspiracy to protect the vested interests of these doctors. Ravi can never lie. If he says the doctor ordered something, it’s definitely true.”
We asked the former BCCI selection committee chairman, Kris Srikanth, for his comments on the issue. “Look, boss, what are you talking about, man!” retorted Cheeka. “Ravi, as we all know has served the Indian team well in the past. Just let him be, man! What boss, you should be concentrating on other important things, man!”
On a lighter note, though, Rahul Gandhi made a cheeky tweet: “@RaviShaz: What the doctor ordered was Complan. What my mom gave me was poison #Power LoL!”