Pakistan apologizes after watching RGV’s “The Attacks of 26/11”


Islamabad has issued an unconditional and unqualified apology to the Government of India after Ramgopal Verma screened a special show of his latest flick “The Attacks of 26/11” for the who’s who of the Pakistani establishment. Sources reveal that RGV’s movie, which is being seen in Pakistani circles as Indian retribution for 26/11, prompted the unqualified and unconditional apology from the Pakistani government and army.

“Oh God!! What the hell was that? 116 minutes of torture! Our military officers, politicians and terror proxies had gathered to actually celebrate the triumph of our 26/11 attacks in this special show, but I guess it was Indian conspiracy to take the brains out of our head with sickening visuals and deafening background scores. Oh dear! My headache! I am not gonna be all right for at least a month after watching this movie. Bilawal dear, please take me to my room,” a dazed Foreign Affairs Minister, Hina Rabbani Khar, was heard mumbling as she strode out of the theater.

“Just like Japan accepted its defeat after nuclear bombs in World War II, Pakistan is not a condition to wage war against India anymore. This one person, RGV, has been successful in injecting our polity with insanity. We accept our defeat. We confess to our complicity in 26/11 and apologize,” was the written statement issued by President Asif Ali Zardari before he passed out.

There are reports that many more present during the screening of the movie got unconscious and dizzy. Hafeez Saeed, who was also present, walked out of the hall in the interval. “I thought I will get some free publicity and marketing material for my organization, but this was Indian vendetta to affect my brains and get me captured and eat away the bounty over me by US. But I will not let this succeed. I would rather watch Sunny Deol’s ‘Border’ or ‘Gadar’ than falling victim for this torture,” he raved, struggling to put up a brave face.

Meanwhile US President, Barack Obama, has approached Ramgopal Verma to make sequel “Attacks on 9/11” to be screened in Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran and North Korea. Our secret sources reveal that Ramu has already signed papers to allow screening of ‘RGV ki Aag’ for the inmates of Guantanamo bay in spite of huge protests from prominent human rights groups.

Anand Walunjkar

About Anand Walunjkar

A IT engineer by day, Walu transforms into the incredible Wulk by night to take on the forces of corruption, nepotism and other social ills plaguing India.

  • narasimhan.khadri

    I likEd the movie though!!!

  • kiran

    Good one.. :-)

  • agyaat

    Booooo !! Trying to be a rediff here, are you ?

  • Nikhil

    I enjoy this site, but this article is tasteless and vile. Not everything is worth making fun of. Somethings are to be left alone.

    • Vipul

      I’d say, making this movie was tasteless and vile. The wounds haven’t healed yet, and this guy tries to cash in on these tragic events. What exactly is RGV trying to achieve via this movie? Remind us how helpless we are on the face of such attacks?

      • agyaat

        Your comment reflects the general celebration of putting down RGV which has become a National timepass in the recent years. I find that most comics against RGV movies are with just hate operating the exercise, which has now become easier with wider sponsorship to such things, what with the paid dissing reviews and all.

        • Vipul

          You’re right. My comment is indeed out of hate. I hate the fact that RGV chose to make a movie out of 26/11 before most Indians have got any closure at all. I hate the fact that he went to check out the scenes right after 26/11 with movie-making on his mind. Using some of Nikhil’s words – Not everything is worth making a movie on. Somethings are to be left alone.

          • agyaat

            There is a very cheezy Bollywood masala movie made on 26/11. It has item numbers and all the typical elements. You wouldn’t rise against it, as usual. LOL !!

            You hate RGV doesn’t need justification. It just needs facility or freedom, both of which are insanely abundant growing with time.

            RGV(and Riteish) said that he happened to be tagged along since Riteish was the son of the CM. Paid media as usual did the job for Vilas Rao detractors. They must have earned big money there. That aside, do you know how many other strangers have gone into the Taj at the time? You know of only RGV because the media worked up the story.

            Do you even know of how many other movies have been made on 26/11 in other Indian languages? They didn’t make money, or they didn’t exploit things is it?


    Movie is good, If pakistan apologize after seeing the movie again is good but they can’t imagine what the people of mumbai has faced on 26/11. I don’t know if the punishment kasab got is enough, so that It can’t happened again in the future.

  • Swanand

    Barack Obama, has approached Ramgopal Verma to make sequel TOO GOOD. ROFLMAO

  • Aravind

    This is lol : Our secret sources reveal that Ramu has already signed papers to allow screening of ‘RGV ki Aag’ for the inmates of Guantanamo bay in spite of huge protests from prominent human rights groups.