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Islamabad has issued an unconditional and unqualified apology to the Government of India after Ramgopal Verma screened a special show of his latest flick “The Attacks of 26/11” for the who’s who of the Pakistani establishment. Sources reveal that RGV’s movie, which is being seen in Pakistani circles as Indian retribution for 26/11, prompted the unqualified and unconditional apology from the Pakistani government and army.
“Oh God!! What the hell was that? 116 minutes of torture! Our military officers, politicians and terror proxies had gathered to actually celebrate the triumph of our 26/11 attacks in this special show, but I guess it was Indian conspiracy to take the brains out of our head with sickening visuals and deafening background scores. Oh dear! My headache! I am not gonna be all right for at least a month after watching this movie. Bilawal dear, please take me to my room,” a dazed Foreign Affairs Minister, Hina Rabbani Khar, was heard mumbling as she strode out of the theater.
“Just like Japan accepted its defeat after nuclear bombs in World War II, Pakistan is not a condition to wage war against India anymore. This one person, RGV, has been successful in injecting our polity with insanity. We accept our defeat. We confess to our complicity in 26/11 and apologize,” was the written statement issued by President Asif Ali Zardari before he passed out.
There are reports that many more present during the screening of the movie got unconscious and dizzy. Hafeez Saeed, who was also present, walked out of the hall in the interval. “I thought I will get some free publicity and marketing material for my organization, but this was Indian vendetta to affect my brains and get me captured and eat away the bounty over me by US. But I will not let this succeed. I would rather watch Sunny Deol’s ‘Border’ or ‘Gadar’ than falling victim for this torture,” he raved, struggling to put up a brave face.
Meanwhile US President, Barack Obama, has approached Ramgopal Verma to make sequel “Attacks on 9/11” to be screened in Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran and North Korea. Our secret sources reveal that Ramu has already signed papers to allow screening of ‘RGV ki Aag’ for the inmates of Guantanamo bay in spite of huge protests from prominent human rights groups.