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The recent shenanigans of two of the leading Rahuls of India – the call to ‘reform’ by Rahul Bose and the saintly musings by the Congress’ number 2, Rahul Gandhi – have turned the entire community of Rahuls (those whose first name is Rahul) into the butt of jokes and ridicule.
The situation is so dire that Rahuls and those with connections to the name are taking evasive action. SRK has vowed to only use the screen name ‘Raj’ in forthcoming movies. Leading satirist Rahul Roushan plans to ditch his name all-together in favour of his pseudonym, Pagal Patrakar. “Anyway, after 5 years of satire writing, I am incapable of thinking normally,” the purveyor of social satire remarked to his friend, Ganesh Ram, as he tore up his passport, birth certificate and degrees containing his original name.
Batman director, Christoper Nolan, for one was relieved that the chief antagonist in Batman Begins was named Ra’s al Ghul and not Rahul Gul. “I backed my instincts and went against the advice of my chief script writer. Whew, close shave,” he told The Unreal Times.
Such has been the backlash against Rahuls that it forced them to get together and launch the ‘Rahul Bachao Andolan (RBA). Speaking to The Unreal Times, Rahul Bajaj, Vice President of RBA and leading industrialist, said, “Owing to recent remarks of two of our namesakes, our social standing has dramatically plummeted. Hence we have decided to come together under one umbrella to improve our image.”
Our political correspondent caught up with a few of these disgruntled people outside the RBA headquarters. He reported, “On the condition of anonymity, a certain Mr. Rahul Chopra, resident of Alambagh, Lucknow told us how his girlfriend had dumped him since it was no longer cool to be seen going around with someone called Rahul.”
Tired of all this bad publicity, the RBA has come up with a master plan to set things straight. Former Bollywood actor and now President of RBA, Rahul Roy, said, “We have come up with a two pronged counter strategy to cope with the sarcasm and scorn being hurled at us. One, we have advised all Rahuls to move over to Google+ for some much needed breathing space until the heat on us comes down. Two, we have decided to construct a Rahul Dravid temple to remind people about the positive aspects of brand Rahul.”
The Tamil Nadu Youth Congress has offered financial support to ensure speedy completion of the ‘Rahul Dravid Temple’.
(Reported by Citizen Satirist, Zombie Doctor)