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India’s home sinister minister Sushil Kumar Shinde who has consistently managed to put a smile on our faces with his actions and statements alike, didn’t let his admirers down when he read his statement on the Srinagar attack twice in the Lok Sabha. Having attracted eyeballs only from the domestic circuit so far, his latest blooper attracted international recognition as none other than Britney Spears took keen notice.
Sources suggest that the Congress politician has been signed by Britney Spears to do a cover of ‘Oops I did it Again’, her popular number from the yesteryears. “I had been searching for a teenager for quite some time now. Someone who could goof up all the time, but instead of feeling guilty, step up the tempo with every other one; and that too with a straight face. I know he is a little too old to be called a teenager, but since it’s a perfect match attitude wise, we decided to give it a shot,” informed an exuberant Britney, bubbling with joy over this find of hers.
Meticulous as he is, Shinde had already begun the groundwork for the cover as he practiced his modified lines for the song.
“Oops I did it again
I played with your heart
Got lost in the game
Oops you think I am alone
But orders sent from above
We’re not that innocent”, the minister crooned, in what seemed to be a ‘straight from the guts’ address to the nation.
Reasons to celebrate didn’t end here for Shinde as more news came in. www.thesaurus.com included ‘Sushil Kumar Shinde’ as a synonym for faux-pas, making the entire nation proud.
A childhood friend of the politician, getting emotional at this onslaught of appreciation, candidly shared a personal story with The Unreal Times. “Back in our school days, Sushu (Editor: As he is called by his loved ones) was filling my slam book. He completed every part of it but, wrote ‘Not come yet’ against ‘Most embarrassing moment’. And to this day, he is waiting for that perfect moment where he can say that he cannot embarrass himself further,” he remembered with both his eyes and chest swelling.
While the Congress leadership hailed this international recognition, Digvijay Singh didn’t take kindly to the developments, claiming he himself was as worthy a recipient as any. “Shinde ji’s prowess in this field is beyond doubt, but there are still some foot-in-mouth angles that he is unaware of. I have always been the original ‘Oops I did it again’ man in India,” he said, before turning the volume up for ‘You drive me crazy’, another hit from the American popstar.
(with inputs from Ashwin)