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The virtual persona of some of India’s most prestigious engineering colleges (and a few others) decided to hang out in an online chatroom. The ensuing conversation was recorded, presumably by a participant, and mailed to The UnReal Times, which we present here.
UP PRIVATE COLLEGE No. 12: Hi!
I am a private engineering college, and I am proud of it.
WE ARE NO LESS THAN IITs! WE WANT RESPECT! And this time from a family whose name isn’t common with ours!
So what if we are located on the outskirts of NOIDA?
So what if we have placement companies that include all the departments of TCS and INFOSYS?
So what if our student body is actively engaged in AIESEC?
We are at par with all of you! And we demand respect!
BITS Pilani: Dude chill, here, let me lighten you up.
UP PRIVATE COLLEGE No. 34: Arre! Bhaiya! You too are a private college! Support us!
BITS Pilani: *embarrassed* Yeah, but I am the elite kind! \m/.
PRIVATE COLLEGE No. 57: *Disdainfully* Yes, elite indeed. Where exactly is it again?
BITS Pilani: *softly* Yeah, yeah, that’s the only point you have against me.
ISM Dhanbad: Hello Friends \m/
AMITY Noida: EEW! Who let him in?
ISM Dhanbad: But I too am an IIT!
LPU: No you aren’t.
ISM Dhanbad: But it’s not fair! Why such treatment? RESPECT ME PLEASE! IT-BHU! Where are you?
IIT BHU: Its IIT now. Anybody seen Kanpur?
ISM Dhanbad: Don’t ignore me! I am not done…
IIT Kanpur: Hey! Whats up fellas ?!
ISM Dhanbad: I said don’t ignore…
IIT Mumbai: Ah! Kanpur my man! All’s well! :D We just got 2100000 crore for MOOD INDIGO!
IIT Delhi: Go f*** yourselves!
*IIT Delhi has left the conversation.*
IIT Kharagpur: Hello ji, Kaise hai aap?
ISM Dhanbad: IIT-KGP don’t you agree that I too am an IIT?
IIT Kharagpur: *disdainfully* Hato yahan se! You is a Maoist!
IIT Mumbai: *groans* Yaar KGP, Hindi mein hi baat kar le please!
ISM Dhanbad: *meekly* It doesn’t really matter what you guys think, because on the inside I too am an IIT! So I urge you to respect me! Because only those who are disrespected initially are later acknowledged, so I beg you to…
IIT BHU: So BITS-Pilani, new campuses?
ISM Dhanbad: Arre! At least don’t ignore me in the middle of my emotional outburst, have some…
BITS Pilani: *proudly* Yeah, Goa and Hyderabad…
ISM Dhanbad: *sobbing* This is such an unfair life.
IIT Mumbai: Lol BITS, I hear you are charging excess fee from the new students now? All the modern buildings eh?
BITS Pilani: Um, yeah, well, its 50th year celebration stuff…
IIT Kanpur: *suddenly* Stuff? What Stuff? TELL ME! WHERE?
IIT Mumbai: Chill man.
IIT Kanpur:*smirking* what do you think I am doing right now? Hehe.
ISM Dhanbad: I am going to join the UP private college group.
IIT BHU: Hey now! Chill man, they all know you an IIT, they are just playing with you!
ISM Dhanbad: *excitedly* REALY?! I KNEW IT. Such, bullies you are. I love you all.
IIT BHU: Ok, wait, um, I was just kidding. You are adopted.
ISM Dhanbad: @#$#@$!!@# @#$ !#$%@$
*ISM Dhanbad has left the conversation.*
BITS Pilani: *shaking his head* Tsk Tsk. Why do you trouble him so much, at least he doesn’t have the attitude of IIT Delhi!
IIT Mumbai: Abe, why don’t you try not to interfere in our business? At least he’s known all over India. Can’t say the same about you “bro”
UP PRIVATE COLLEGE No. 2312: Bhaiya, Ap log bahut achhe hain :D :D. One autograph please.
BITS Pilani: Here you go.
UP PRIVATE COLLEGE No. 2312: *confused* Ap kaun hain ? Management College?
*BITS Pilani has left the conversation.*
IIT Mumbai: Guess like it’s just you and me Kharagpur.
IIT Kharagpur: Jee Zarur.
IIT Mumbai:*looking around* Where’s Kanpur?
IIT Kanpur: *giggling* Bam Bhole Nath, Bam Bhole Nath…..Dude … AH!
IIT Mumbai: Ok, someone’s in high spirits. *looking towards UP Colleges* So who wanted that autograph again?
UP PRIVATE COLLEGE No. 123: ME! ME!
AMITY Noida: *irritated* EEW! These people are so Gawars I mean. *takes out her hand mirror*. Just so you know, I don’t need that autograph. *sets her hair again*
IIT Mumbai: Um, Ok.
IIT Kanpur: Disco Disco Going going gone! My bitch is mine, bring it on. BWAHAHAHAHA!
IIT Mumbai: um, okay, Kharagpur, you gotta take him away.
IIT Kharagpur: Yeah, ok, I is *sees Mumbai staring at him* Jee Zarur.
*IIT Kharagpur and Kanpur have left the conversation*
UP PRIVATE COLLEGE 2312: Arre bhaiya Rukiye!
IIT Mumbai: Yes yes, here’s that autograph.
DU: Hello, do you want to discuss the role of society in preventing heinous crimes against the society in a debate that is conclusive, in-depth and detailed?
*All colleges have left the conversation*