- World News
- In Pics
Parliament witnessed noisy scenes for the second consecutive day after an
red-faced ashen-faced Coal Minister, Shri Sriprakash Jaiswal, admitted on the floor of the House that a Google search for the missing files and records of coal allocations of 45 blocks during the 1993-2005 period had failed to throw up any meaningful results.
“CBI director Ranjit and I personally stayed up till the wee hours of dawn, going all way to the 350th page link to the search query ‘where the f*** are the missing coal files?’,” disclosed Jaiswal to jeers of ‘shame-shame’ and some unparliamentary expressions. “We came across a lot of jokes on the coal scam such as “Manmohan to star in Rakesh Roshan’s Koyla part II’, CBI to investigate role of East India company, and ‘in wake of coal, thorium scams, Periodic Table to be rearranged basis corresponding UPA scam’ but no real clues to the actual whereabouts of these documents. Around page link number 420, there was some interesting information pertaining to Swiss bank account numbers and Bofors , so we skipped past that,” he added in a solemn tone.
Barely had the Coal Minister completed his statement when bedlam ensued with MPs from the treasury benches joining their counterparts from the Opposition to flood the well of the House to express their disgust over the government’s pathetic archiving practices. Even Meira Kumar for once lost her equanimity and instead of saying ‘shaant ho jaiye’, jumped out of the Speaker’s seat and rushed towards the Coal Minister to heckle him before guards restrained her.
There were a few moments of levity when Finance Minister, Shri Chidambaram, offered, half-jokingly, to ‘search for the missing files on the so called social networking site, Google plus’, with the House drowning in peels of laughter. Later, Shri Chidambaram’s wisecrack was archived in the ‘wit and humour’ section of Parliamentary archives as one of the all time greats in that genre.
In related news, Google CEO Larry Page has assured Indian citizens that they are working on Google Search 2.0 which will be able to penetrate the minds of the likes of Dr. Manmohan Singh. “We keep getting complaints that it is impossible to extract information from that man’s mind given his legendary reticence. Enabling our web crawlers to crawl into his brain and ferret out information is the next challenge in search technology that the best brains in Google are working on,” Page told The UnReal Times.