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In the wake of DRS’ dodgy performance exacerbated by Dharmasena’s howlers during the recently concluded Ashes, it is reliably learnt that ICC is looking to fine tune the technology underlying the decision review system to make it 99.99% error free in normal situations (and 60% error free in case of Dharmasena).
Accordingly, they have taken inputs from the product owners of Hotspot thermal imaging, Hawkeye, the ball tracking system, and Snickometer to introduce the following changes:
1. There is a lot of interference for the signal from the batsman. It is not only with the tapes, but also stuff like pad, trouser and gloves worn by the batsman that cause problems. A Hotspot representative said that all these are intentionally used by the batsman to mask the hotspot. While players of other games wear shorts or mini-skirts, only in cricket they wear trousers. He has recommended that batsman should be dressed as little as possible. He has recommended that all batsmen carry a bat and are dressed in swimming trunks, to get accurate decisions.
2. This still leaves the bat open for manipulation. The recommendation is to subject batsmen to airport grade security before going out to bat. The ICC is seriously exploring options to have the batsman undergo a full body frisking and put the bat through equipment similar to the metal detectors. This will ensure no foul play with the bat.
3. Snicko technologist has said that they would need a larger microphone to capture and amplify the audio. So a small audio booth will be erected around the batsman, stretching from silly point to short leg. This microphone would enlarge the signal.
4. Cock-eye, the fourth generation algorithm, which, among other fancy things, will also solve the Schrodinger wave equation of the travelling ball to estimate the probability of the red-cherry, which as we all know is also a wave, hitting the stumps, while plotting its trajectory. This should put to rest scurrilous speculation about the accuracy of ball tracking trajectory and improve accuracy of LBW reviews by 1000%.
5. While agreeing to these suggestions, the ICC is also supposed to be in touch with the SETI group. SETI is the program for Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence, where large telescopes are focused on outer space to capture a signal for aliens. The ICC has requested SETI to focus one telescope onto the ground playing international matches, every time. The SETI group will charge $100,000 per day for deploying a satellite but the increase in accuracy will be well worth the price.
Finally, all these fancy technologies will be topped by a simple GUI which will flash “OUT” or “NOT OUT” as the case maybe to make it easier for the likes of Dharmasena. “We are sure he’ll read out the correct decision 90% of the time,” said DRS CEO, Dick Dorsy.