Skit: When Rahul Gandhi visited Chacha Chaudhary’s house for dal-chawal…

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Chacha Chaudhary is walking down a lane when he hears a lot of commotion coming from a direction. He turns towards the noise and spots a crowd some way ahead. The crowd spots him and rushes towards him. To his surprise, from within the crowd, Rahul Gandhi emerges accompanied by Digvijay Singh.

Rahul Gandhi: Namaste Chachaji.

Chacha Chaudhary: Namaste.

Rahul Gandhi: Chachaji, I came here on a visit. I just came to know that you have a person in your house named Sabu who has reached the escape velocity of Jupiter. I would like to meet him and er… if you do not mind, have some dal chawal at your house as well.

Chacha Chaudhary (with typical generosity): Of course! You are welcome, please come.

Rahul and Digvijay accompany Chacha Chaudhary to his house where he informs his wife Bini Chachi that they have 2 guests for lunch.

Chachi (shouting): Hae Bhagwan. Raashan itne mahange ho gaye hain aur aap hain ki atithiyon ko khane par le aate ho!(Oh God! Food items have become so costly and you bring guests for lunch.)

Chacha Chaudhary: Arey Bhaagwan. People come to eat at our place because you cook so well. Let’s not argue in front of the guests.

Chachi is flattered and starts preparing to serve the duo.

Suddenly Billo and Pinky come in.

Billo: Chachaji, I am unable to solve this Maths problem. Can you please help me?

Chachaji takes the notebook and pen and solves it in a jiffy.

Billo: Thank you Chachaji!

Pinky (proudly): Chacha Chaudhury ka dimaag computer se bhi tej chalta hai! (Chacha Chaudhary’s brain works faster than a computer.)

Rahul Gandhi (to Pinky): India mein computer kaun laaya? Congress! (Who brought computers into India? Congress!)

Presently, Sabu walks in.

Rahul Gandhi: Hi Sabu, I just wanted to meet a great person like you. Please tell us how you managed to reach the escape velocity of Jupiter?

Sabu is confused and looks at Chacha questioningly, who simply shrugs.

Digvijay Singh (giggling): Look Rahul Baba. He is only wearing briefs and earrings. He is all expose and no substance. Ha, Ha, Ha!

Hearing this, Sabu gets very angry and moves menacingly towards Digvijay Singh.

Chacha Chaudhury (restraining Sabu): Jaane do. Woh hamare atithi hain(Let it be. He is our guest).

Suddenly, an aide rushes in towards Digvijay.

Aide: Sir, an important message for you from Hyderabad. Seemandhra has erupted again.

Pinky (proudly): Jab Sabu ko gussa aata hai to jwalamukhi phootha hai!(When Sabu gets angry, a volcano erupts.)

Chachi serves Rahul and Diggya meal of roti, sabji and delicious halwa followed by delicious lassi.

Rahul Gandhi: Chachiji, I have come here to understand your problems. Let me know your problems and I will work to solve them.

Chachi: Foodgrains and vegetables have become very costly and life is becoming difficult for middle class people like us.Gold prices are increasing every day and chachaji does not buy me new gold bangles giving me the excuse that he cannot afford them.

Rahul Gandhi (smiling): It is just for people like you that my mother launched the Food Security Bill. We will give you 5 kg of food grains per person per month.

Chachi (irritated): Is this some joke? Sabu alone eats 100 plus chapatis, 12 kilos of halwa and about 20 litres of lassi in one meal. Rather than giving freebies, why don’t you look at controlling rising prices?

Rahul Gandhi: Chachi, you are such a great cook. I really enjoyed the meal. This halwa was way better than anything I have ever eaten at 10 Janpath. It’s no wonder that Sabu eats so much.

Digvijay Singh: Yes, Rahul Baba, Chachi is a dehati aurat but she is a sau taka tunch cook.

Chachi (stares at Diggy angrily, and picks up the rolling pin): Badtameez! I will kick you out of my house with escape velocity! I will…

Rahul Gandhi (interrupting): But my mother says you need a rocket to attain escape velocity.

Chachi (by now livid): RAAKET!

At this, the loyal family pet dog Rocket, who has been lazily lying on the floor so far springs to his feet and growls at Dijvijay Singh.

Digvijay Singh (scared): Hey dog. Don’t bark at me. I will give you a bone to chew.

Pinky (proudly): He won’t be interested. Our Rocket is sau taka shaakahari! (100 per cent vegetarian)

Rocket leaps at Digvijay Singh, who doesn’t stay back to verify Pinky’s assertion. The two take off from the house with escape velocity.

About Pankaj Vaidya

Passionate about reading, writing, computer programming, value investing, yoga, cycling and motorcycling

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