After resigning from The Hindu as editor-in-chief, Siddharth Varadarajan has agreed to become the editor-in-chief of The UnReal Times. Varadarajan has made an immediate impression on us by taking a dig at The Hindu group immediately after the resignation. “With The Hindu’s owners deciding to revert to being a family run and edited newspaper, I am resigning from The Hindu with immediate effect,” he had tweeted, seconds after resigning.
“Siddharth brings to the table considerable experience in writing, editing and controversy building at leading satire news organizations like Times of India and The Hindu. We are really chuffed to have him come on board,” said The UnReal Times co-editor C S Krishna.
“Also his resignation message on twitter followed by the wonderful mudslinging between ‘Siddhartha & Brothers’ vs ‘Ram & Family’ is just the kind of social media troll experience we were looking for,” gushed co-editor Karthik. Though Siddharth Varadarajan has been courted by many leading Indian news organizations, the fact that The UnReal Times is not only not run by a family but by a bunch of folks who have no life tilted the balance in The UnReal Times‘ favour.
This decision will make Varadarajan the first professional unpaid editor of the satire portal in its long and glorious 3-year history. The rest are both unprofessional and unpaid. Siddharth Varadarajan has agreed not to be paid to clear his name from the notorious so called ‘paid-media’ brigade that is relentlessly hounded by the twitter users. Siddharth had continuously been in the top three of this ‘paid-media’ brigade for the last 24 months after his refusal to put Modi on the front page of The Hindu.
As the team at URT has limited proficiency in editorial english, they asked Varadarajan only one question during the job interview: to explain the meaning of this statement issued by N.Ram – “The decision to make deep-going changes was made chiefly on the ground that there were recurrent violations and defiance of the framework of the institution’s long-standing values on the business side, and recurrent violations and defiance of ‘Living Our Values’, the mandatory Code of Editorial Values.”
Since his explanation was as confusing as the above statement, The UnReal Times board not only hired Varadarajan, but also adopted the above statement as the ‘Code of Editorial Values’ and shit.
“Though we try to be neutral, the UPA-II government with Rahul Gandhi, Kapil Sibal, Manish Tewari and Manmohan Singh has made it impossible for us not to give them disproportionately high coverage. We hope Siddharth Varadarajan will be able to balance it out with his rants against Modi and BJP,” said Ashwin Kumar, whose posts are especially loved by the right-wing.
“Oh boy! There is so much sh*t I want to say about BJP and Modi that I had to suppress during my time at that old paper,” said a beaming Siddharth Varadarajan.
The UnReal Times had to turn down Varadarajan’s request of opening a bureau in China since they are not really big fans of ‘let’s-put-funny-guys-in-jail’ kind of gallows humour. He sulked a bit but agreed that jail is not very nice.
Even Dr Subramanian Swamy, who has often graced our hallowed pages, has agreed to withdraw his PIL in the Supreme Court demanding a ban on foreign citizens heading leading Indian news magazines. “I am a stickler for following the law but am willing to make an exception for The UnReal Times since we all love it. Look forward to some fantastic work from Varadarajan,” Dr Swamy said.
“I am overwhelmed by this opportunity. It’s been the culmination of a lifelong dream,” said a maoist moist eyed Siddharth Varadarajan, “and I look forward to competing with other major satire editors like Malini P.”