Somnath Bharti’s racism is forgiven as he ties up with a Nigerian prince to spam the world

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Somnath Bharti who has been named as one of the world’s top spammers, has decided to tie up with a fictitious Nigerian prince to spam the world. Bharti decided to use his legendary spamming skills to claim votes. This move will also absolve him of the accusation of racism. The email being sent by the Law Minister is as follows:

Greetings,

Permit me to inform you of my desire to have a midnight raid with you. I have a belief that you are incorruptible as you are an AAP supporter, from the little information so far that I have gathered about you through an internal survey, during my search for an aam aadmi. By matter of trust I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business of alternative politics.

I am Somnath Bharti, the anarchist convener of mohalla sabhas and my associate is the fictitious Nigerian prince Wami Abdul. Prince Wami Abdul is the only fabricated son of King Boni Amah who has been incarcerated by rebels and forced to provide urine samples. Before King Boni’s detention by anarchists, he told Prime Wami that he has a sum of US$ 9,000,000 (Nine million United States dollars) donated by the Ford Foundation. In the capacity of the incorruptible AAPian with all the documents and allegations at my disposal, I am contacting you.

I am honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways:

(1) To serve as the guardian of the institution of Mohalla Sabhas and the trustee of Wami’s funds
(2) To arrange for 2 lavish bungalows befitting the great Prince Wami as well as my party leader
(3) To wire transfer your Lok Sabha vote to the friendly neighbourhood vigilante
(4) To donate Rs 10 to AAP in order to be duped and transfer USD 400k to Prince Wami for travel purposes. Kindly make all of these deposits at your nearest khaap.

I am willing to offer you 15 % of Wami’s funds and free utilities as compensation for your efforts, which I will transfer to you after the successful decentralization of power to deserving vigilantes. In addition to this, I promise to rid India of corruption with magic brooms and real mufflers. As a smart, educated, hopeful and gullible voter, I am confident that you will support me and Wami for the sake of the populism and our shared belief in distorting market prices.

You must appreciate that we are constrained from providing you with more detailed information on Wami’s funds and our economic policies as we are suffering from a power cut. Please afford us the opportunity to provide you with more information khaap governance, dharna schedules and million dollar fortunes. Please respond to this mail before more voters are disillusioned. There is also a stipulated time for the transfer of donations as we are likely to crumble under the weight of our own contradictions and U-turns.

Anticipating hearing from you in the elections.

With KhAAP’s blessings,
Somnath Bharti

P.S : For this business/political association to work, kindly disavow your beliefs in economics.

Shreya Manjunath

About Shreya Manjunath

Aspiring armchair do-gooder | Secret capitalist agent | Occasional satirist | Irreverent with my muse

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