The latest to join the Aam Aadmi Party bandwagon is former union law minister Ashwani Kumar, who was forced to resign after he was accused of ‘proofreading’ CBI reports. AAP leaders have termed Ashwani Kumar’s entry as a strategic acquisition for the fledgling party.
“It was just getting too much, yaar. Just take a look at these tweets,” said AAP convenor Arvind Kejriwal, handing over a printout of a selection of Ashutosh’s recent tweets to this UnReal Times correspondent.
“Our researchers calculate that for every Ashutosh tweet, two to three people unfollow the Aam Aadmi Party’s Twitter handle and Facebook page. Also, each time we try to do a spell-check on his official documents, Microsoft Word crashes. We are now counting on Ashwani ji’s grammatical expertise to balance Ashutosh’s tweets and therefore avoid further embarrassment for the party,” Kejriwal added.
The move has come in for heavy criticism from the BJP. Terming AAP as Congress’ B-team for welcoming its ousted leaders, the party’s Delhi chief Dr. Harshvardhan exclaimed, “By roping in Grammar Nazis like Ashwani Kumar, AAP has proved that it is fascist as well as anarchist. AAP has badly let down the people of Delhi!”
Ashwani Kumar himself seems upbeat. Speaking to The UnReal Times, the lawyer turned politician said, “When I heard that Ashutosh was contesting from Chandni Chowk, I was thrilled and was hoping that the Congress party would field me as the natural choice to take him on, but they chose Sibalji over me! I was very frustrated. So when Arvindji called me to join AAP, I didn’t think twice at all. This job is a dream come true!”
Sources reveal that AAP’s IT team is now working on a redirection algorithm that would automatically route Ashutosh’s tweets to Ashwani Kumar and publish only after the latter’s editing. Ashwani Kumar himself has hit the ground running in his new political home, and has already gone through Ashutosh’s entire timeline, after which he submitted the following tweet to the AAP high command as Ashutosh’s only grammatically correct tweet in his Twitter lifespan.
— ashutosh (@ashutosh83B) February 17, 2014
Meanwhile, a livid Ashutosh has hit back at Ashwani, tweeting what is presumably his last unedited tweet, “Why the Modi is not using you? He once tweeted louts insted of lotus. Why the Modi is not speking up on this??? U r highjacking the aam AADMI!”
( P.S – Any grammatical errors in this article may be viewed as an attempt to lure Ashwani Kumar into joining The UnReal Times :P)