The UnReal Times

Justice Katju contemplates raising fraction of Indian idiots to 95%, after spate of sexist remarks

January 7, 2013 8 Comments

Former Supreme Court judge and chairman of the Press Council of India, Justice Markandey Katju, who usually trends on twitter and comes under the glare of mainstream media for his interesting remarks and strikingly powerful views on various issues, is contemplating increasing the fraction of Indians who in his opinion are idiots to 95% from [...]

MS Dhoni discusses Team India’s performance in India-Pak series on Facebook wall

January 7, 2013 7 Comments

After a hard fought victory in the 3rd India-Pak ODI, skipper Dhoni and his boys congregated on Facebook to discuss the events in the past few weeks. The Unreal Times Facebook correspondent Mark Zuckerpandian was at hand to click a snapshot of the ensuing conversations:

Misbah files ICC complaint against India for scoring only 167, making it difficult for Pak to lose

January 6, 2013 4 Comments

Although Pakistan managed to comfortably lose the third ODI in the end, an irate Misbah-ul-Haq has filed a complaint with the ICC against Team India for posting a paltry score of 167, which made it exceedingly difficult for his batsmen not to chase down. “Before the second innings, the boys appeared downcast,” recalled Misbah, “saying [...]

In pictures: Celebrities line up to wish AR Rahman on his birthday

January 6, 2013 5 Comments

Oscar winner and Indian music legend AR Rahman celebrates his 47th birthday – an event that was attended by several celebrities including his old ‘pals’ Ismail Darbar and Bappi Lahiri. Unreal Times reporter Atul Baskarbe was at hand to capture the moments:

SRK promises jaw dropping illogicality in Chennai Express

January 6, 2013 5 Comments

Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan today promised that his upcoming release, “Chennai Express,” will break new ground when it comes to logical inconsistencies in the movie’s plot. “Audiences are coming fresh from watching Dabangg 2, Khiladi 786 and recently Jab Tak Hai Jaan. I realize it’s going to be pretty challenging to top the standards [...]

Miffed by visa row, Miandad cancels official visit, will directly go to Mumbai from Karachi by boat

January 5, 2013 6 Comments

Irked by the unseemly (in his eyes) controversy over the granting of visa by Indian authorities to come to New Delhi on January 6th for the final India-Pakistan ODI, former Pakistan cricketer, Javed Miandad, has cancelled his visit since he felt like an ‘unwanted guest’. The Pakistani batting legend will instead be making an ‘unofficial’ sojourn [...]

Transcript: Nitin Gadkari summons MP minister Kailash Vijayvargiya over his Laxman-Rekha remarks

January 5, 2013 10 Comments

A day after BJP cabinet minister from Madhya Pradesh, Kailash Vijayvargiya remarked that women who cross their Laxman Rekha will face consequences just like Sita crossed hers and was kidnapped by Ravana in the Indian epic Ramayana, he was summoned to the quarters of party president Nitin Gadkari for a one-on-one session. What transpired during the meeting? The [...]

Dr. Singh gives career advice to his grandnephew about how to become PM of the country

January 4, 2013 7 Comments

The Prime Minister usually does not entertain such requests but made an exception for Keval Singh, his favorite nephew. “Only you can knock some sense into my son, Mamaji,” Keval had pleaded the other day over the phone,“The boy is just not serious about his studies. Keeps claiming that he will eventually become Prime Minister [...]

If an asteroid were to hurtle towards India…

January 4, 2013 19 Comments

5 days to impact: In a parallel universe, Palaniappan, a 12 year old kid peeping through his telescope from the roof of a water tank in a village in Tiruchirapalli district in Tamil Nadu makes a startling discovery at 5am in the morning. An asteroid, 500 feet wide, is hurtling towards India at 50,000 miles [...]

UTLeaks cable: After “Modzilla” for Modi, codewords used by US for other Indian celebrities revealed

January 2, 2013 14 Comments

After a Wikileaks cable revealed that US diplomats used the codeword “Modzilla” to refer to Gujarat Chief Minister Narendra Modi, its closest competitor and arch-rival, UTLeaks, headed by secret agent 01, better known as Boolean Assinghe, of Sri Lankan origin (also referred to as Boolean Asinghame in Tamil Nadu) swung into action quickly, uncovering a lot more [...]